Get Your Premium Membership

When the Lone Bird Flees

Though she holds his hands, he feels all alone As moonlit desires sense his dissonant vibes Emanating from pulses beating in discord Plundering away ambiance to vacant thoughts When a cogent conversation becomes a task. Silence he placates discarding her prompts Preferring the dark over company of stars As a lone-bird sits forlorn on a leafless branch Awaiting for daybreak to build a new nest. Steadfastly she holds on to her view of galaxy Undeterred by forces of invisible black holes Comforting his woes till he rejects her call, Deciding resolutely to abandon her place When the lone-bird flees before daybreak. November 5, 2018 Placed first in contest #520 by Brian Strand

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 12/10/2022 5:29:00 AM
"As a lone-bird sits forlorn on a leafless branch Awaiting for daybreak to build a new nest." Beautiful Comparison. Let her flee to open skies...! Beautiful as ever.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/6/2018 7:31:00 AM
Such mood and tone and strong imagery. Love your lone bird poem. Hugs, dear friend. SuZ
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 12/7/2018 8:45:00 AM
Thank you SuZ.
Date: 12/3/2018 11:12:00 AM
"Preferring the dark over company of stars," is such a poignant line and gets to the heart of this lone bird's nature, Vijay. I like the descending number of lines in each verse and sensed the loneliness throughout. Beautifully written and well deserving of a first-place win, my friend. Sorry my congrats are so late. Hugs, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 12/7/2018 8:44:00 AM
Thank you Carolyn..appreciate the kind remarks.
Date: 12/1/2018 3:06:00 PM
Hello Vijay, I am so happy you got a placement in the contest.This is a lovely poem. have a nice evening my friend.
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 12/7/2018 8:44:00 AM
Thank you Darlene.
Date: 12/1/2018 2:28:00 PM
Congrats on your placement in the contest with this expressive poem, Vijay.
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 12/7/2018 8:43:00 AM
Thank you Carole.
Date: 12/1/2018 11:44:00 AM
congratulations!loved your poem.have great time!:)
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 12/7/2018 8:43:00 AM
Thank you Kenisha.
Date: 11/26/2018 12:16:00 AM
Belated Congratulations on your win, my friend.. Such an exquisite Verse!! So inspirational and filled with so much emotion.. Bravo !!! Many blessings!!
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/27/2018 6:30:00 AM
Thank you Robertina.
Date: 11/24/2018 1:21:00 PM
Congratulations Vijay, on this win. Your thoughts hold so many emotions, and they always caress gently around me. ~ Brandy
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/24/2018 1:48:00 PM
Appreciate your generous feedback..many many thanks, Brandy.
Date: 11/24/2018 9:51:00 AM
Beautiful, and yet so sad, Vijay. Belated congratulations on you win,,,truly merited. Regards // paul
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/24/2018 1:47:00 PM
Thank you Paul..appreciate the kind remarks.
Date: 11/13/2018 12:37:00 PM
Sometimes loss may be our gain Vijay. I loved this soulful deep metaphor. : )
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/13/2018 1:51:00 PM
Thank you Connie.
Date: 11/8/2018 6:23:00 PM
Hi, again at this poem,Vijay . My umbrella poem was fictional though i had a first boyfriend at age 13 who was a Johnny. He did not kiss me like the Johnny in my poem!! I sure wonder what happened to Johnny Spencer! Just saying hello . Can't wait to see your next new poem.
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/9/2018 8:50:00 AM
Hello..thanks for stopping by, Andrea.
Date: 11/8/2018 1:52:00 PM
So descriptive of strong emotion, Vijay! Janice
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/8/2018 1:56:00 PM
Thank you Janice..appreciate your visit and comments.
Date: 11/8/2018 11:14:00 AM
Hi Vijay, I agree with Joseph, this is such a sad write me With that being said, you are such a talented poet. I found every word and every line so poetic. This was well excited:-) Alexis
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/8/2018 1:55:00 PM
Thank you Alexis..appreciate your kind remarks.
Date: 11/8/2018 6:54:00 AM
Such a sad tale of despair...Well written Vijay..
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/8/2018 1:55:00 PM
Thank you Joseph..appreciate your feedback.
Date: 11/8/2018 5:06:00 AM
Lonely little write, sometimes one needs the me time, Vijay, nice one:)
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/8/2018 6:08:00 AM
Yes--lonely for sure. Thanks Jo.
Date: 11/7/2018 9:52:00 PM
Beautiful, sad, and soulful... as poetry should be :) Have a wonderful day Vijay :)
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/8/2018 6:07:00 AM
Thanks for your visit..many many thanks, Chris.
Date: 11/7/2018 6:22:00 PM
Hi Vijay, another excellent piece of poetry from your golden pen. The metaphor sing out in this piece my friend. Sometimes when things are not working it is better to move on. Such gentle words with a strong message. Beautiful as always my friend. A deep write, written from the heart, A fave. have a wonderful Thursday. Your friend always....Mike.
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/8/2018 6:06:00 AM
Thank you Mike. I really appreciate how you take the time to provide detailed feedback to all writers. I'm always happy to read your comments.
Date: 11/7/2018 3:09:00 PM
Beautiful and inspiring poetry..
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/7/2018 5:16:00 PM
Thank you Harry--appreciate the kind remarks.
Date: 11/7/2018 10:49:00 AM
A little birdie told me...great verse Vijay...you are soaring my friend...love & birds...^WW^
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/7/2018 5:15:00 PM
Thank you WW. Appreciate the visit and comments.
Date: 11/7/2018 7:00:00 AM
Sorry to have missed this extraordinary poetic rapture of your my friend, Vijay! A Fav!
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/7/2018 5:15:00 PM
Thank you my friend. Appreciate the visit and comments.
Date: 11/6/2018 1:55:00 PM
The lone bird flees before day break, who can truly understand the ways of the bird or human nature, well read and well received Vijay, thanks for sharing your pen in such a pliable way
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/7/2018 6:24:00 AM
Thank you Pixie..appreciate the visit and comments.
Date: 11/6/2018 4:54:00 AM
i always look to silence as the birth of winter wisdom vijay your pen drew this deep and touching excellent piece flying high with emotions a lonely bird always travels isolated upon the branch forever searching to build the nest without leaves gives of a coldness very inspiring picture drawn in your golden pen
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/6/2018 7:01:00 AM
Glad to see that you made a note of the leafless branch..astute observation..many thanks my friend.
Date: 11/5/2018 10:24:00 PM
Excellent piece, Vijay, a perfect portrayal of disconnection in the presence of those ostensibly closest. Very well worded, fave.
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/6/2018 6:59:00 AM
Yes..quite a silent discord there..many thanks Lawrence.
Date: 11/5/2018 6:17:00 PM
Awsome extended metaphor in this one. Some lone birds you just have to fly away from.
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/6/2018 6:59:00 AM
Glad you mentioned the metaphor..your comment is spot on Andrea. Many thanks.
Date: 11/5/2018 3:54:00 PM
touched by the mood of this scene so pensive and eloquently relayed, vijay... missed sending you comments.. i was in morocco for more than a week... spill ink!...huggs
Login to Reply
Pandit Avatar
Vijay Pandit
Date: 11/5/2018 5:51:00 PM
Never been to Morocco..I have heard its a great place..hope you had a wonderful time. Thank you nette, for your comments.
12

Book: Shattered Sighs