Home » Poems » Ashley Wisehart » When Im With You

When Im With You

When i'm with you I get these feelings These feelings are going to last Because I have fallen I have fallen fast So catch me because I need you I need you in my life You’re everything to me And everything you’ll be Promise me you won't leave me Promise me you will care I need someone to call I need someone to catch me when I fall You feel my stomach with butterflies- you always brighten my skies

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Robert Pettit

Date: 1/9/2011 8:12:00 PM

Well, I'm glad to see you have written about something other than suicide. Please make the following suggested changes: 3rd line, change "feeling" to "feelings". 7th line, change "Cause" to "Because". Your last three lines should appear as: "You fill my stomach with butterflies-You always brighten my skies". Your poem will look much better after you make those changes.