When I Crashed

I've cried myself to sleep more times than I've laughed I've faced the monsters alone with tears in my eyes I came out scarred and wounded but I survived I had no one there with me when I crashed Travelling alone, trying to find my way I lost the girl of my dreams, she won't give me the time of day They say every mistake comes with a lesson I just couldn't cope with a relationship while fighting depression I wanted to hug her, but depression forced me to let go I think about her daily, my day dreams create the best show Sleeping around, because I can't be in bed alone Wish I had the perfect words to rectify everything I said wrong Last night I had a little too much liquor Went to the club and fell in love with a stripper Told her I missed my ex and talked about my past plans Spilling my heart to a stripper, because I needed a hug more than a lap dance I was telling her my problems instead of flirting I wish the bartender had stopped serving I said a lot of things I didn't want to express Is it wrong that right now I need a hug more than sex? She's not coming back, but I'm not ready for a new one Yet I'm sleeping around, but I don't want to do wrong I'm trying to heal but I'm doing it in the wrong way These girls flaunting their bodies is my weakness and I'm not feeling strong today I'll leave the club with one and start afresh tomorrow I shouldn't drink anymore, but I'm ordering my next bottle I just need to survive the pain, but how long does heartbreak last? Writing this alone, because I had no one with me when I crashed