Alex Duffy Poet Free verse

When I Crashed

I've cried myself to sleep more times than I've laughed
I've faced the monsters alone with tears in my eyes
I came out scarred and wounded but I survived
I had no one there with me when I crashed

Travelling alone, trying to find my way
I lost the girl of my dreams, she won't give me the time of day
They say every mistake comes with a lesson
I just couldn't cope with a relationship while fighting depression 

I wanted to hug her, but depression forced me to let go
I think about her daily, my day dreams create the best show
Sleeping around, because I can't be in bed alone
Wish I had the perfect words to rectify everything I said wrong

Last night I had a little too much liquor
Went to the club and fell in love with a stripper 
Told her I missed my ex and talked  about my past plans
Spilling my heart to a stripper, because I needed a hug more than a lap dance 

I was telling her my problems instead of flirting
I wish the bartender had stopped serving
I said a lot of things I didn't want to express
Is it wrong that right now I need a hug more than sex? 

She's not coming back, but I'm not ready for a new one
Yet I'm sleeping around, but I don't want to do wrong
I'm trying to heal but I'm doing it in the wrong way
These girls flaunting their bodies is my weakness and I'm not feeling strong today

I'll leave the club with one and start afresh tomorrow
I shouldn't drink anymore, but I'm ordering my next bottle
I just need to survive the pain, but how long does heartbreak last?
Writing this alone, because I had no one with me when I crashed

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Elizabeth Kinch November 18, 2017 at 12:57 AM Hope this is fictional for you now. From your poetry I know you had a hard start in life; break that cycle, find that inner strength, love yourself, you are talented and brave. Alex Duffy November 18, 2017 at 8:47 PM This was based on a break-up I had a few years ago, that I've just had the inspiration/ability to write about, as I can't always express how I feel at that time, thank you so much :)