What was it?

Disaster? Or desire? What was it? Satan's curse? Or God's grace? I see myself midst ying and yang But what in real was it? A lesson? Or a loss? From flowing water to crystal ice And now broken from inside into fragments of mine Love and hate, ups and downs, laughter and fear in a month's let down Now it's all gone, it roams in past, in the time gone by, Now I'm a lighthouse guarding the shores of a forgotten love, guiding ships in hope of finding the ship meant for my shore, I am but a closed window hiding behind the curtains of rock, showing the world of my velvet veil of moonlight as if I am the wavy stone, You're my moon, whom I love from the distance I can see you from, cherish you for my life time.... In the end it's just me and my delusion, The curve of her smile, the echo of her laughter I fill pages with metaphors, in hope to seek and capture what words cannot, but somewhere between the lines I forgot she's the poem The stanzas written by the universe but not for me, i assume The unkind universe and the evil fate won't let you talk to me The threads unwoven left us tangled in different worlds yet so close, Oh! This hollow ache This endless yearning I would take a million of it a million times, if it gave you back to me Maybe then we'll find ourselves in the ruins of what we lost