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What My Eyelids Hide

I can't know what my eyelids hide, masquerading did undermine. It's no surprise the dog has died, at my table you came to dine. Masquerading did undermine, peel the pain layer by layer. At my table you came to dine, raise the sword, let drip you slayer! Peel the pain layer by layer, inside and out it's all the same. Raise the sword! Let drip you slayer! What I don't see won't smell of shame. Inside and out it's all the same, it's no surprise the dog has died. What I don't see won't smell of shame, I can't know what my eyelids hide.

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Silent One

Date: 12/3/2023 1:31:00 PM

I thought I would read your first poem again..You have always been my favourite poet on here.

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/17/2023 11:05:00 AM

Dear Silent One, I have just now seen your uplifting comment. My apologies for my late reply. Thank you for your return visit to my first poem. Your golden pen is only outshined by your kindness. I am honored my friend.. you have always been my favorite poet here too. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Charles Messina

Date: 10/7/2023 5:46:00 AM

Susan, I had to come to your first poem, and I am so glad I did. Your daughter did the world a favor by encouraging you to join PS and to write more poetry. As you've been told a thousand times or more...your golden pen leaves its gild wherever it's been. Keep writing my, dear friend. Love your poetry! Warmest wishes ~Charlie

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/7/2023 8:11:00 AM

Dear Charlie, I relish traveling back in time with you to visit my first poem posted here on PS, or anywhere for that matter. Indeed, we have my daughter, Julie, to thank. Her faith in my writing gave me the courage to take the first step in joining PS and being further inspired by the awesome poets here, like you my friend! The uplifting and endearing spirit of your comments are held in my truest appreciation. Thank you, Charlie, for your time spent with my first post. I am both humbled and honored by your kindness. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Vince Suzadail Jr.

Date: 10/3/2022 11:47:00 AM

WOW!! Excellent start. Keep writing. I don't get on here much anymore but thought I'd stop by and read a few. Glad I did.

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/3/2022 5:36:00 PM

Dear Vince, it’s so nice to make your acquaintance. Your lovely comments are received with gratitude. How exciting it was to post my first poem here 5 years ago.. I’ve learned so much since then! Thank you, Vince, for sharing your precious thoughts with me and for visiting my first poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

John Watt

Date: 3/11/2020 10:12:00 PM

Susan, I am following your gentle lead and traveled back in time to your first post here. Wow, what a tale of pain and mystery you weave in your first write! Pantoum is no easy dragon to slay... but you conquered the beast! Love your autobiographical commentary and loving tribute to your daughter. We at Soup have so much to thank her for! Best wishes, John

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/12/2020 6:51:00 PM

Yes, John, it is nice to stroll back in time with a fellow poet and kind friend. I am humbled by your wonderful comments, and I hold your precious thoughts in my truest appreciation. It's funny though how poets refer to Pantoums as 'beasts', I've read it several times and I wholeheartedly agree that they are! ..lol! I'm so glad you enjoyed my autobiographical commentary. My lovely daughter, Julie, is an absolute joy and an inspiration to me every day. I'm blessed with beautiful children and family. Your kindness is a blessing, as well, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Vladislav Raven

Date: 11/24/2018 1:28:00 PM

Hi Susan, I thought I should travel back and read some of your early work and I am glad I did. I would have missed this little gem. I do love the Pantoum form. The start of my journey through your wonderful world of words. Your creativity starts immediately. Your words already paint such strong images. The Soup is a far stronger place with having your wonderful poetry in it. Have a wonderful Saturday. Hugs....Mike. XX

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/28/2018 7:16:00 PM

My dear friend, your presence here on my poetry page inspires me. Thank you for taking the time, to go back in time, to my first poem and my first pantoum. Your encouraging sentiments uplifts my spirit, Mike. The kindness of your generous and shining essence is held in my truest appreciation always, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Laura Breidenthal

Date: 3/21/2018 8:11:00 PM

"Raise the sword, Let drip you slayer! What I don't see won't smell of shame." Intriguing. I love your note at the end. Observations are meaningful - you're a poetry slayer! Your sword truly shines! Always, Laura

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/22/2018 8:16:00 AM

Laura, your beautiful comments mean so much to me. Thank you for your wonderful visit and your insightful sentiments. I appreciate you spending some time with my first poem on PS.. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Old Buck

Date: 1/21/2018 6:45:00 PM

Susan: One of the hazards of a site like this, as I'm sure you've learned by now, is there are a few of us that don't really write poetry we just scratch down words we think make sense. You've done a great work here, now I'm going up the ladder to mark your growth. :o) oldbuck

Susan Ashley
Date: 1/22/2018 4:14:00 PM

Thank you Old buck for your kind words. Your sincerity shines through and I hold in dearest appreciation your wonderful comments.. I relish your poetry as well my friend.. Warmest wishes. ~Susan

Harry Horsman

Date: 1/14/2018 6:17:00 AM

Taking in your first poem Susan, which i like to do with everyone, when time permitting.I also love this form of poetry, and also your poetry, it's fresh and invigorating,sorry i'm so late in perusing your work, but poetry, as good as yours, only mellows with time.

Susan Ashley
Date: 1/14/2018 7:55:00 PM

Harry, you are so sweet and I truly appreciate that you spent time here with my first poem on PS. Your comments are so heartfelt and they are beautiful to me. I relish the gift of your lovely sentiments and I thank you for brightening my day and for inspiring a smile on my face.. My warmest wishes to you my friend.. ~Susan

Arturo Michael

Date: 12/26/2017 7:44:00 PM

Your first 3 or 4 poems were burning coals and steam... then, later on, you took wings and got really poetic to the core...I like where you have reached and going...dig in deep and keep writing... A big hug Susan...All the best my friend

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/26/2017 9:37:00 PM

Hello my dear friend Arturo, thank you for your lovely visit back to my first poem. Your beautiful and encouraging comments are uplifting and so appreciated. You inspire me to reach further mon ami and I want to thank you for sharing your golden light of inspiration with me. Warmest and happiest New Year's wishes for you dear one.. ~Susan

Paul Callus

Date: 12/18/2017 1:14:00 PM

You brought a breath of fresh air to this site, Susan. I must thank your daughter Julie for passing you over to us! This Pantoum is very expressive .. the first one of many, as this form is still close to your heart. Going public is a big step, but once you take it, then it's hard to stop walking:) Thank you for being such an honest and supportive friend. ~ Warm regards // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/19/2017 9:22:00 PM

Yes, you're right Paul, going public was a big step and it's been so rewarding.I now have a wonderful poetry friend in you, thanks to my daughter Julie.Thank you for your amazing insight that you share with me about my writes.I'm thrilled that you find my poetry interesting and I've learned so much from our interactions.The best thing I've learned is what a kindhearted and genuine person you are and I'm very proud to know you. Warmest wishes my friend ~Susan

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 11/16/2017 11:15:00 PM

I enjoyed the poem and positively relished your poet's statement :) big hugs! xomo

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/17/2017 1:49:00 PM

Maureen, I so appreciate your awesome and heartfelt comment that inspires a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing your heartwarming and precious thoughts with me.., it thrills me that you enjoyed my poem and especially my poet's note. Hugs and smiles to you my friend.. xo :).. ~Susan

Caycay Jennings

Date: 11/12/2017 8:19:00 PM

Susan, reading your intro was like hearing my own initial soup reactions. Your words simply beam enthusiasm and I'm sure the universe led you here. I have written since a pre-teen, but secreted them until my love, Tim, convinced me I wrote well enough to find a website. My comp died in March, just returned 11-8, so we are just now meeting. I enjoyed your Pantoum, your talent potential is obvious to me! I love your authentic spirit. All the best ... CayCay

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/12/2017 9:09:00 PM

CayCay, thank you so much for sharing your sincere and heartfelt thoughts with me. It's such a pleasure to meet you and I feel your spirit is gracious and loving. Thank you for reading my first poem posted here and for your enthusiastic response which is so uplifting.. I look forward to reading more of your poetry..My warmest regards to you.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/10/2017 7:55:00 PM

Dear Susan, I am glad I decided to come and see your very first poem at Soup. What a great first post you did. In a poetry form that I think is very much loved by many poets here. Keep writing and writing, Susan. It's so nice to meet you here. May the muse be WITH YOU!

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/10/2017 9:41:00 PM

Andrea, I'm so glad you came to read my first poem to see where it all began for me here at PS. Thank you for your always encouraging words and support. I've learned so much from reading your poems and comments and I appreciate your interest in my poetry. It's been so nice to meet you here as well and may the muse be with us both, although sometimes much to my dismay, my muse seems to take the day off.. lol.. but I write everyday even if it doesn't amount to a poem right away. Your visit and comment are so appreciated! ~Susan

Silent One

Date: 11/4/2017 11:10:00 AM

This was your first post on the soup? And a pantoum? Wow! This pantoum is very good for a first effort, however, your writing of poetry has developed to a very high level...

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/4/2017 12:17:00 PM

Silent One, this was my first poem conforming to the Pantoum poetry form and my first post on PS. I had been researching forms and chose this form because I like repetition and the subtle nuances this form allows. I had written this and re-edited it the night before I joined PS. I had no idea how I, or my poem, would be received.., but I couldn't be happier and my ability to write poetry has grown by being exposed to so much talent here. Thank you for your awesome comment and friendship ~Susan

Niall Fulham

Date: 9/9/2017 4:53:00 AM

Hi Susan , beautiful first write my friend , I like the way you use the eye lids to keep one safe from the bad side ::)))))hugs

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/9/2017 10:07:00 AM

Hi Niall, yes exactly right! Many thanks as always for your wonderful visit and lovely words, so appreciated. Hugs and friendship :))

Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 8/17/2017 2:26:00 PM

An excellent debut poem, Susan. And you chose to do a Pantoum style poem, very impressive. This is a much more difficult form to do than it appears on the surface. The repeated lines have to maintain good internal logic. This is a beautiful maiden voyage entry. Wonderful poetry. May the love light your path always.

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/17/2017 7:52:00 PM

Hi Freddie, thank you so much for your very kind and insightful comment. I love the repetition of lines in the Pantoum form and how the meaning of the repeats can differ with punctuational changes as the poem progresses. I practice with this form often and I feel like I'm getting the hang of the subtle nuances this form offers. I'm so glad you liked my poem. Many thanks and appreciation for your visit.

Adeyemi Joshua

Date: 8/4/2017 3:34:00 AM

Well written...

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/4/2017 11:21:00 PM

Hi Adeyemi, thank you so much for reading and commenting on my poem :)

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 7/18/2017 1:47:00 PM

- Your first poem "What My Eyelids Hide" is a beautiful first poem, Susan :) - Enjoy reading it - Warm welcome to Poetry Soup ,from Norway :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/18/2017 7:18:00 PM

Hi Anne-Lise, thank you for your warm welcome and kind words of encouragement. I am enjoying reading your beautiful work as well, you're one of the poets I follow :)

Darren White

Date: 7/16/2017 3:49:00 AM

Beautiful Pantoum, one of my favourite forms, I love repetition in poetry if done well, and you did! Welcome to PoetrySoup.

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/16/2017 1:57:00 PM

Hi Darren, thank you so much for your kind words and welcome. Your words of encouragement mean much since I am just beginning to stand on my wobbly poetry legs... lol!