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Home » Poems » Nette Onclaud » What Makes You Feel

What Makes You Feel

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Malabika Ray Choudhury's Contest: What Makes You Feel...3 Apr 25 
# 2:

mist hushes throes of lament as kin's shadow leaves...my breath fails to rise.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025


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Beaufort Avatar
Duke Beaufort
Date: 4/10/2025 11:00:00 AM
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Nette, sounds like a magic mist. The interplay between the mist and breath makes me think about what it all means and how something is left behind and something is lost. Take care!
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Gershon Wolf
Date: 4/5/2025 8:53:00 PM
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Exquisitely penned, Nette. A surefire winner. Moves me greatly too. ~ Gershon
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Williams Avatar
Maria Williams
Date: 4/5/2025 3:27:00 AM
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Dear Nette,your one line is hauntingly beautiful—so much emotion in so few words. It feels like a quiet moment of grief suspended in time. Deeply moving...Hugs
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CayCay Jennings
Date: 4/4/2025 1:42:00 PM
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Oh, I was instantly transported to the good-bye memories that I have for all my relatives. Everyone lived in the same state, Mom and Dad's peps, while we moved a great deal. My parents did their best to visit them every summer. Oh, the dreaded good-byes, it is good that I still share them with some cousins. I goofed this contest's instructions all kinds of up. I must laugh. Loved this ... CayCay
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I Am Anaya
Date: 4/4/2025 12:11:00 PM
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And a spiritual event it should be in the blurring silence of journey's painful end. Great entry in seventeen syllables, Nette!
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Paula Goldsmith
Date: 4/3/2025 12:41:00 PM
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A powerful Monoku write. You told a story in just one line. "Good Luck" We both did this one. Have a lovely day writing away..................
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Andrea Dietrich
Date: 4/3/2025 12:21:00 PM
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love it. One of the best I've seen, Nette.
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Heidi Sands
Date: 4/3/2025 10:52:00 AM
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Beautifully expressed. Well done :)
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Woody Avatar
Tom Woody
Date: 4/3/2025 8:29:00 AM
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Moody, somber feelings over the loss of kin. A lot of emotion in this one liner
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things