What If's

Deep contemplation bogging down my mind,
Voices swimming, grabbing at my thought,
pulling at my very soul.
Making me pass judgements.
Making me push things away.

Questioning my very existence.
Wondering about my very being.
Can't take chances.
Can't take risks.
Looking too deep into too many things.

What if's weighing heavy on my mind,
Weighing down my heart.
Having to turn off emotions,
to keep from being hurt and face feeling.
What if's messing everything up.

Battling inside to turn it all off-
Don't want to question things
Don't want to pass judgements.
What if's raging through my life.
Pain and sorrow in its wake.
A new day will be dawning soon.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2005

Poem

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace