What I Have Caused

I could not forsee the Devastion... I didn't ever mean to Demean You or Us... I didn't ever mean to leave us Feeling... So Alone... I was unaware or did not want to accept to the Anguish... I have caused... of my Betrayal to your Heart and our relationship... I have caused... I've kept trying to deny... My past... Wishing I could... Really Wishing I could Suppress my Poisoning Actions... Words... and Feelings... Wishing I could have Obliterated it all... Before it helped Erase Us... I cannot be the Ideal... Not even a good imitation... I cannot always control the Underlying Motive to Hurt First... Perhaps I've felt... I needed to test you... Test your True Devotion to me... Never realizing the Malice behind all of it... and Making So Many... Monstrous Mistakes... There is No Way to Vindicate myself... I can only offer my Impassioned Plea... For Understanding... For your Forgiveness... For the Chance to try and to Win your Heart and Trust back