Patricia Anne Fonseca Poet Free verse

We're Closer When We're Apart

We grew up in a home of half-spoken things.
Affection lived in chores,
in a plate set on the table,
in someone asking if we already ate
as if it was the only safe way to say they cared.

We never became good at speaking about feelings.
Our voices always seemed to hesitate
when affection was the topic.
So we created a different language,
one made of small gestures,
of someone saving the last piece of food,
of footsteps waiting for another pair
before going to sleep,
of gifts wrapped in simple ways
because giving became our version of saying
I love you.
Maybe that is why I learned to write better than I speak,
why my heart spills easier on paper
than from my own mouth.

We rarely sat at the same table.
One ate in the living room,
another by the counter,
another at the dining chair closest to the door.
Yet there were evenings
when we all ended up in the same place,
talking more than usual, laughing together,
sharing food and future plans,
as if togetherness was something
we only remembered in flashes.

When we hurt each other,
we did not talk about it.
The room would feel heavier,
and we learned to walk around the memory
of the words that cut deeper than we meant,
instead of touching them.
Time became the bandage we depended on
because none of us knew how to unwrap our own hearts.

But distance changes us.
When someone leaves for work,
or stays in another city or province,
or takes even a short trip away,
we suddenly find words we could never say face to face.
We say take care.
We say I miss you and I love you.
We send messages with hearts
we finally feel brave enough to deliver.

It feels strange sometimes.
How miles can soften our mouths
in ways closeness never did.
How we open up more
when no one is there to watch our voices shake.

Maybe that is simply who we are.
A family stitched together
by gestures and distance,
trying to love without shaking,
trying to speak without breaking.

We are closer when we are apart,
not because separation strengthens us,
but because space gives us the courage
to finally say what has lived inside us
for years.

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