Old Timer Rhymer Poet Monorhyme

We're being told Cricket sold its soul for Gold

(alright even for OTT me is wee bit lengthy…how Test cricket’s blows…woes & foes led to a celebration of Leyton Orient…..come on the “O’s”….)


Seeds sow greed did grow they call it “Macro”

Stick it to Test cricket signing on for the giro

No compassion did ration & fashion new ratio

Death throe on death row and I should coco?


Unwise Franchise rise & lies guys from Pinocchio

Nations in desperation are resigning with their biro

Flag for past half mast no shipping forecast on the radio

No retro oldest format old hat & is dying just like hospo


So the crescendo looks like Mario on nintendo

Chronic kaleidoscopic tropic comic Asian Beano

Doesn’t feel real not even placebo just innuendo

Professor Mustard turned Tests to custard Cluedo
 

All the rage a s*itter glitterball at a teenage disco

Make Horatio give young well hung Napoleon fe*latio

Stodgy T20 aplenty launching dodgy debauching tyro 

Pointless like a waterless lido just voodoo & pseudo

Podgy paunch of this scorching then torching pyro


Grandstand bland brand every bro a pro and ho

Sporting hell they sell IPL toys from well Hasbro

Sweet treats for bums on seats from pray tell Harribo

Takes the biscuit manicured caricatured by Oreo

Downed drowned by caramel death knell PepsiCo


Besmirch streaming gleaming merch braggadocio

Hosting memeing church toasting boasting bravado

Never mellow every fellow commentator must bellow

Seedier crass bottom feeder mass media perch bestow

Scheming that should be riven and given an ASBO (okay from UK)


How much stuff is enough already richer than avocado

Never forgiven cool vicious pernicious avaricious narco

Don’t flatter rule of nattier cats as are fattier than lardo

Ingenius heinous intravenous icky sicky cricket Cocoa


Ridicule each fool a mule to drool over spool worth zero


Before you know puts in bids for the pyramids in Cairo

Quid pro quo to & fro bluffing apropos of nothing in Ontario

Cash cow goes kapow with flash safaris on the Limpopo


Willy nilly silly lame fame games for brash ferraris in Tokyo

Holler for a dollar scholar lotto in some grotto in Morocco

T5 hokum loco locum on lash in maserati party in Acapulco


Stacks of hack packs in macks at winter tracks in the snow

Quicks on pogo sticks in Togo ticks for bongo conga in Congo

Wronger seashore folklore for more wonga in Raratonga studio

Or indoors chores for Saudis bores in dayglo Audis on astro


Rash slapdash casino makes complete hash of it in Monaco

Shoddily made charade parade without brio displayed in Rio

Bish bash bosh for dosh just tosh like Enya’s flow of Orinoco


Guiding folks in chinos riding rhino from Kosovo to Santiago

Stonking banjo on a bonking bronco in Idaho or even Taupo

Indigo auto pedalo with onboard audio goes abroad to Porto


Mark Ruffalo hulk fights bulk of electro buffalo in San Francisco

Latino albino contest eating chorizo cilantro cornetto in Oviedo

San Diego ghetto panto with staccato and falsetto from Moscow      

Dodo fighting with dil*o and cello elbow to elbow in Monte Carlo 
 

Okey dokey, hokey cokey or is it hokey pokey in Montenegro

Hey nonny no not so bonny beau on the down low in Mexico

Lingo bingo for fans of gangs of orangutans over in Borneo

Hunting dingo in Lesotho bunting for 20/20 karaoke subutteo



Lasso kudu in Karoo rodeo or Cameo live show in Montevideo

Nurses in flamenco versus tango & fandango rehearses in Oslo

Filipino drinking fino playing yoyo with boho mojo out in Bendigo

Fruity tempo with a booty of mango try to fly to Pluto from Okarito


Sly wry Dalai Llama sells karma & a gran turino in San Marino

No embargo of fargo cargo from Key Lago to Tobago or Chicago

Patina of Picasso pygmies in pyjamas..Bahamas or Burkina Faso


Test cricket dramas & stats become ersatz like a Tex Mex taco

Like going out shopping in Costco or Ocado when in Hokkaido


Result a nutty cult with fat cats smutty assault just like Waco

Worse than polio cancer rains through our veins with no chemo
 

In charge of their own perverse parallel universe.. Hans Solo

Homegrown reverse Raj marauding & hoarding like Marco Polo

Following this swallowing.. all they own wallowing like a hippo

The cost hero sort of this glorious sport blown has lost its halo


So how low do you go before some toe to toe gung ho aggro

Don’t need a tarot card to know this f*ckfest fiasco does blow

Vicarious and nefarious as beyond the pale stale sale of tobacco


Cricket has always been more about the clout of posh Eton & Harrow

Rather than palaver of urchins from the barrow lurching in the shadow

White ball tasty narrow courgette now hasty whopping eye popping marrow


Jaw dropping harangued press ganged in an Ambani Sarnie with icky mayo

No stopping it flopping the Indians have gone shopping Test cricket’s a hobo

Mistaken they’ve taken shaken then forsaken our game that is so bellissimo

For a tome wrecking sh*tshow well Merry Fecking Christmas & Ho Ho Ho

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