'we Did It'
No one lied, get it out of your mind
Don't start badmouthing again, putting your foot in your mouth
knocking your teeth around
You saw the warning signs, you are not a rodeo clown
This isn't new to you
this happened before, it was bound to happen
Without struggle, there can't be progress
This anticipation is making you scared, hyper aware
ignore your body signs to run, you hold it in until you're done
breathe a sigh of relief at the finish line
It'll come in time, stop holding your breath
frustration release
You knew it was all too easy
how 30 mins of your time was all took to get a straight answer
now you're crumbling here in near grief
40 mins is a bit excessive and unprofessional, yes
but just sit tight
don't run, don't you dare
You've been through too much to just walk out the door
You just gave a pep talk to the world or at least to your readers
now you're here banging your head on the walls
your fingers tapping away at your keyboard
waiting for your name to be called with baited breath
This has happened before, this happened before don't forget it
This has happened before, don't you dare quit
Look me straight in the eyes and tell me you get it
look me straight in the eyes and tell me you'll beat this
This is nothing
Stop hoping someone else will come through and save you
no one can save you but well me…
see your reflection there?
I am you and look what happened?
You did it…
We did it…
I did it…
I DID IT!!!!!
…
Is it wrong for me to be proud of myself
Is it wrong for me to look forward to the future
plan my own outcomes
Is it wrong for me to celebrate, celebrate this win
this win I've achieved
Is it wrong? Am I wrong?
I fear I am never nor ever feel like I belong
let's see if I belong here
My physical ability says no but I'll toughen it out anyway
I need this
God, help me, I need this
Mother, keep me strong
I need this
I just hope all my sore limbs don't fall off in the process
Copyright © Andrus Cassian | Year Posted 2019
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