Johneta Ohler Poet Free verse

Villian

I think the cruelest part
is that I stayed long enough
to watch myself disappear.
Not all at once.
I disappeared in every joke
that cut a little too deep.
Every forced laugh.
Every time I swallowed hurt
because loving you seemed easier
than confronting it.
You taught me how to doubt my own pain.
How to bleed
and apologize for making a mess.
And God, I tried.
I tried to understand.
I tried to compromise.
I tried to convince myself
that love was supposed to feel
like cutting pieces off yourself
to keep someone else comfortable.
I kept waiting for things to get better.
You kept showing me
how much damage a person can do
without ever laying a hand on someone.
You think I left suddenly.
You think I woke up one day and chose to leave.
What you didn't see
was the funeral.
Every cruel comment.
Every conversation that changed nothing.
Every promise that lasted
just long enough to be broken again.
I had been grieving us
long before I walked away.
By the time I left,
the relationship was already dead.
I was just the one
who buried it.
And now I'm the villain.
Not when I was hurting.
Not when I was begging to be treated
like someone you loved.
No.
I became the villain
the moment I stopped accepting
what was breaking me.
The moment I chose myself
over your comfort.
Maybe that's what really angers you.
Not that I left.
That I finally realized
I could.
So tell the story however you need to.
Say I gave up.
Say I ruined everything.
I'll take the blame.
You can have the narrative.
I'll take my freedom.
Because I'd rather be the villain
for walking away
than spend another day
teaching someone
how to break me.

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