Unspoken Words Unwept Tears

Unspoken Words Unwept Tears
Thoughts locked away and tears that fall no more.

The things tucked away that can no longer reach the surface are things that bring
such pain one would think they are going to die. There’s a place that holds all the
secrets so far out of reach the mind can no longer tell if they or even real. There
was a time when things were spoken aloud and thoughts took on real meaning.

I would whisper to you and beg you to listen to my heart and my needs. I wanted
you to look through my eyes. My whispers went unheard so I cried and pleaded
with you, won’t you hear me? I need you to do as you promised…This did not work
so I bargained and threatened. My tears soaked my pillow night after night. I cried
in the quiet with no one to hear!

You said, “You loved me and I would always come first”. What happened? I love
you and cannot understand. My heart has been torn to the core and my eyes
blurred with searing pain. The disbelief of such agonizing grief has scarred not only
my heart and eyes but my mind as well!

I just can’t argue anymore or try to make you see things my way. I thought I was
what you wanted, I was good enough for and you trusted me. I trusted you:
trusted that you loved me and that was all I needed know…

I can’t allow myself to think of these things that have been tucked away or allow
myself to cry any longer. My time was spent this way day after day and night after
night till I locked this part away. Now when I scream it is in silent only from within. It
never makes it to the surface. The tears that used to fall only wet my heart and fill
the cracks. They fall no more!

Debbie
Knapp

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