Unsolicited Advice
They descend from the heavens of mediocre achievement
Armed with confidence forged in the fires of never having tried
They spot you living breathing minding your business
And feel the ancient urge to intervene
Here’s what you should do they proclaim
As if the universe appointed them your personal life coach
After a rigorous selection process involving
A YouTube video a vibes based hunch
And one book they definitely didn’t finish
They speak with the authority of a surgeon
And the credentials of a guy who once skimmed an article
Titled 10 Habits of People Who Pretend They’re Successful
They offer tips on fitness while winded from a short sentence
Relationship wisdom despite three breakups with the same person
Financial guidance while Venmo requesting you for money
But who are you to question greatness
You nod politely because society frowns
On telling people to take their TED Talk elsewhere
They leave feeling heroic
Certain they’ve changed your life forever
You leave wondering how they survive unsupervised
And yet
In the quiet moments
You admit a tiny truth
We’ve all been that person once
Armed with a half baked epiphany
And the irresistible urge to fix someone
Who never asked to be repaired
A humbling reminder
That the line between sage and clown
Is thinner than the patience of someone
Receiving advice they didn’t request
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