Undone

sneakers twisted over hydro wires co-joined dangling from tied laces tracks to an unhappy ending a runner's castoff erasing the scourge of a race lost? an overhead tale of something snapped when expectations erode forlorn scuffed shoes undone by some soul weary of ownership fused to the wrangle of wind where secrets shake heavenward till summoned back to ground this unburdened rejection on a current for altering it an indifferent toss losing its grip when laces fray gnarled by friction an ending like depleted affection with nothing neatly laced up

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Duke Beaufort

Date: 3/29/2024 9:23:00 AM

Brian, this is a pleasure to read. We often see what you have described, I wondered about it, but you have taken it to an art form. "On a current for altering it" could be a reference to the AC power in the line. Very clever, sir!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/29/2024 10:21:00 AM

Greetings Duke, Thank you for reading my postings + responding with supportive words. I tend to favor poems with a central image + by extension, a metaphorical connection to life itself. Are the strung together running shoes that hang overhead like rejection, abandonment? Perhaps a symbol of a throwaway society? I leave it to the reader to see meaningfully. With appreciation, Brian

Sara Kendrick

Date: 2/14/2024 4:24:00 PM

Congratulations on your winner once again. Way to go. Thanks for sharing your work with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K

Brian Sambourne
Date: 2/14/2024 6:37:00 PM

Hello Sara, I appreciate your stop by + your congratulatory note regarding my contest entry. It wasn't a top winner but it isn't an easy poem to digest. Best wishes, always. Brian

Edward Ibeh

Date: 2/11/2024 5:40:00 AM

Congratulations on your win in my contest with this excellent free verse. No matter the format chosen, your poetry dazzles, Brian.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 2/11/2024 7:28:00 AM

Many thanks, Edward, for seeing merit in my contest entry. Best wishes always, Brian

Mat Ignacio

Date: 2/8/2024 8:22:00 PM

your compositions are always executed with delicate artistry - you have the ability to take something routine on the surface and make it profound and revelatory - always a pleasure to read your work

Brian Sambourne
Date: 2/8/2024 9:19:00 PM

Thank you, Mat, for your endorsement of my work. I appreciate your words immensely as I struggle mightily with a common place image in an attempt to give it relevancy. Metaphor is often undervalued for its power to suggest subtext. With much gratitude, Brian

John Crawford

Date: 2/7/2024 6:35:00 PM

I'll be sure my next 'throw-away' can be seen, so when a poet happens by...posterity will have its say.

Brian Sambourne
Date: 2/7/2024 8:07:00 PM

Hi John. So true - one never knows what poetic power a throwaway might hold. I suspect some teenager hungry for new runners did the cast off to secure a newer brand of "cool" shoes. Now if only my small poem could have the posterity you contemplate. Thank you for the stop by + comment. Be well. Brian

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 2/5/2024 5:14:00 PM

your poem was deep and profound, Brian. The 'sneakers' metaphor was creative and brilliant....you dealt with the complexities and challenges that come with the struggles we face in life...not always wanting to let go of our burdens but needing to do so for our own benefit. Our fears sometimes cause us to stay on that tight rope...enjoyed the read...have a pleasant evening, Sara

Brian Sambourne
Date: 2/5/2024 7:15:00 PM

Dear Sara, Your insightful comments add weight to my small piece. As you say, burdens can dangle above us, or consume us, a struggle we can't win, or let go. Sometimes troubles fray, fall to the ground, and we move on. Thank you for your wise words. Be well. Brian

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 2/5/2024 2:48:00 PM

Dear Brian, This is a powerful exploration of the tangled complexities of life and the raw emotions that accompany them. Your word pictures of sneakers twisted over hydro wires speaks volumes about the weight we carry and the moments when we decide to let go. The poem's resonance lies in its ability to capture the essence of human struggle and the liberation found in releasing the burdens we bear. Very thought-provoking. - Blessings, Daniel

Brian Sambourne
Date: 2/5/2024 3:50:00 PM

Greetings Daniel. Thank you for your in-depth analysis which meaningfully notes poetic intention. I wasn't sure if readers would see the metaphorical shading of sneakers dangling from hydro wires. Our letting go often comes in increments. And what to keep and what to release is truly a personal challenge. Your words shed extra light on a posting some may find obscure in meaning. With much appreciation, Brian