Turning Point - Coming of Age - Acceptance at Last
("Mrs. It Dances Through It", 2014, original pen and ink)
Turning Point - Coming of Age - Acceptance at Last
Finally at age 65 I reach a turning point
Where a lifetime of doing is seen
To be just a lifetime of accumulating
Moments and things to give purpose
And a reason to be perhaps,
But more likely just a way to keep score
To express a thwarted competitive edge.
Looking back it all adds up
To a progression of progressively stronger addictions
From stamps and coins, insects and rocks as a kid
To dharma practice, climbing routes, books
And music, poetry, art and Persian rugs as an adult.
Always something a little more to have and to hold
And take the place of something less tangible.
So where does this leave me now
Raw and exposed and tired of the game?
Anxious and alone
Happy to have at least a few friends
Who accept me as I am
And a handful of dogs who apparently love me
No matter what.
What is ahead I ask?
The five stages of grief come to mind
Letting it all go, the good the bad the ugly,
What others may say and I may judge,
All that I have done in the confusion of living,
Until there is acceptance at last
With some golden years left to go in peace.
(3/27/24)
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