Turnabout Is Fair Play - Getting Away With Murder
The guy she hired to do me in,
unbeknownst to her,
was one of the blokes on Friday nights
with whom I played poker.
All this time she thought I lied
and was having a sordid affair,
because I didn’t tell her with whom I played
or even let her know where.
My secret was, they were all convicts
from an earlier part of my life;
back when I was a different sort
than the one now known by my wife.
He said he ‘bout laughed when first he learned
the identity of the guy she wanted to kill;
“Imagine”, he said, “She thought a turd like you,
could even find another dumb girl!”
“Well, if she wants me dead
who am I, to stop her from getting her wish?
Just tell her that you did me in
and now I sleep with the fish.”
I gave him my wallet and my wrist watch
to give to her as proof;
Then I laid low and stayed out of sight
not telling anyone the truth.
The police case closed; the insurance settled –
a service was held for me;
The would be killer collected his fee
and we split it fifty-fifty.
Then late one night I snuck in her room
to even up the score;
a noise woke her up; she caught a glimpse of me
and fainted to the floor.
The suicide note was full of pain
and sorrow for her husband who died;
I swear I wrote it so passionately
it nearly made me cry.
You can’t be murdered by a man who is dead
so no one suspected my crime;
and now I live in the Florida Keys
having a wonderful time.
by Joe Flach, written and posted on 10/6/11 for the "Getting Away With Murder" contest.
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