Turn the Heat Up
When you're not home
I turn all the lights on
and leave them on
I turn the heat up so I'm toasty
I order out every night
I clean out the freezer and throw everything away.
I empty out the plastic silverware in the back of the kitchen drawers
the chopsticks
the bits and pieces of things you save
but you wont miss
when you're not home
I hog the bed
I dont fold the laundry
I dont even do any
I don't clean up after myself
although I might wipe a counter.
I eat salad standing up
I let the dog on the bed
I sleep past the alarm
I buy my lunch
I'm totally
joyously
irresponsible.
(its all true)
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