Shawn Gorsick Poet Free verse

Tragic Son

Its been to long since my head was right 
  I guess since that tumor started on my dad
  I didnt know so for forty years nothing was good enough
\ so I just thought I was bad

 i know everyone sais man you just got to be stronger that should not have held you down
 but it did but not until I came back around established |
 it took my family and the city less than 3 years to destroy everything in me
 then I lost everything I had that was 20 years ago

 It took 15 to get my head right but they kept me from getting away 
 a prisoner of my own respect otherwise I would of hurt their feelings and not allowed none of it
 but now i feel stupid cause now their old they need me around before it was manipulation
 now its guilt I guess no one wanted me to get past the pain so they made it last

 so what are you going to do get into Harvard or Columbia I did that 
 well we aint paying for it well its a scholarship if I can get there and pass the test
 guess you better start saving and get some rest you know what neverminded I'm to old for that anyway
 not like I went from may never speak again to a 4.0 G P A Deans list 12 honor society's Phi Theta kapa even if you noticed it wasnt good enough

Thats ok now Im past the point of caring what people think you kept me down so long
 I don't plan to get back up and chase success which is defined by men who won't allow others to achieve it.
 everyone screaming self-made when their no such thing just people chasing a way to ne above the next
 and yea thats the kind of mental damage that makes someone turn to drugs young you know it matters when you tell a kid not to talk to you every day especially when that kids your son

 I didnt know you were sick so I thought the way we had been and started looking for lessons
 perhaps you were teaching me to be a man so I learned from a distance
 only to get older and notice you didnt catch the things i did based on things you said
 I listened for nothing i was not good enough for your time or a lesson plan

 Mom is a saint so family was my anchor and I drowned
 spent my whole life trying to be the son you were teaching me to be
 turns out you could have saved my life if you would of just told me you dont like me
 then I could of moved on now its to late the circumstances of generation x created
 work histories no one wants and skills of value no one pays for 

now its just waiting until the day your in the ground
because 2 days later will be another dirt mound 
next to my dad

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