Toupee Or Not Toupee

(This is a fictional poem) I lost a lot of hair and I wore a toupee. But a freak gust of wind blew it off my head yesterday. I couldn't afford a new toupee so I wore my cat on my head. I thought it would fool people but it made them laugh instead. When I saw that people knew that my cat wasn't a toupee, my face turned red. That darn cat scratched, bit and even ____ on my head.