Tombstone Tales

I took a casual stroll through the local cemetery the other day, Looking for interesting epitaphs and to pay my respects along the way. Many stones were simply etched with names and dates of death and birth. Others contained tales of sad demise, yet others of perky mirth. "Here lies Clyde now expired, Another man's wife Clyde desired. The man pierced Clyde's ticker with a knife, Thereby making a widow of Clyde's wife!" "I now own this little plot of land, And as such I make this firm demand: As nigh my hallowed grave you pass, Please keep off the cotton pickin' grass!" "Scuba diver Marty came to grief, As he was tooling 'round a Bermuda reef. He was having himself a carefree lark, 'Til he encountered a ravenous shark!" "Here sleeps Sergeant Major Cooper, A brave Fifth Cavalry trooper. It was just his bad luck, That when arrows flew he failed to duck!" "Herein lies trucker Don who failed to swerve, Speeding 'round a mountain curve. His semi sailed o'er the precipitous edge, Landing at the foot of a thousand foot ledge!" Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired