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Today's List

Never die from natural causes
Shoot bullets into water instead
Drink wine with breakfast
Learn to take your heart attacks 
Love them back with buttered bread 
Make sure to clean your pistols daily
Return them to the store when you are through
Wear a crash helmet to bed for protection
Keep assault riffles under cover as pets
Invest in daylight savings time for safety
Take an aspirin if necessary 
Bless them because they are small and round
Save some for doctors, priests and teachers
Open the wound on the present and the past
Open the window to success
Use computer print-outs to predict insomnia
Write down everything not said 
Remember tomorrow is another day
Keep doors and closets closed for their protection
Last as long as you can incognito
Stop breathing...never mind...breathe
Walk with shoes in front of you
Think the way they do
Repeat the process as if they were alive
Play with matches that have no heads
Burn down conventions (they deserve it)
Change with the wind (but keep your clothes on)
Keep thoughts to yourself (but not the dirty ones)
Sell them to poor people in the park 
Throw away the list and start anew
Think about tomorrow as it thinks of you


Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 3/16/2018 10:54:00 PM
There is so much in this, a treat to read.
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Earl Schumacker
Date: 3/17/2018 2:40:00 AM
Hi Maureen, Thank you so much. I always appreciate your comments. Glad you enjoyed it. I figure if you are going to do a list do it with style. Why not go all out? You know me. I am all in on going all out. Have a great day. Take care. Earl