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To the Women Behind the Man

She tries and tries and tries so hard
 only to have the breath kicked out of her
 life sucked out of her
 try to revive her 
find out that she has been dead all along 
and if you ask her again she’ll tell you it was her fault
but let me tell you about the shame she carries, 
shame so heavy that every single time she says
 I’m sorry it feels like like she’s drop the World off her tongue 
so you want to see and empowered woman, 
but we don’t even know what that means because every single time this woman wants to feel empowered it comes at the cost of breaking down herself to build him up 
build him up so high only so that she can look up to him 
look up to him only so he can look down at her from all of his power
because when the woman is behind 
It insinuates that she’s always looking forward 
looking forward longing chasing after something
something that isn’t hers but is his 
because he will always be that much ahead
and as she chases him
 closes in on him
claws after him 
desires to be him 
she stops and realizes she is the one who made him. 
she is the one who made him 
she is the one who brought a him into this world only to be left behind 
how repulsive is he to treat her this way 
she thinks about how much she wants to scream
 that she did this
 that she won that 
it was hers for once
once upon a time she dreams of a world where women win
 were women own what they have done 
where women won’t constantly say I’m sorry no really it wasn’t me I only helped a little he is the one who did it 
because doesn’t he always wins
because  isn’t he always the one

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