To My Crush
I died once
Twice,
And then a couple of times after that,
Each time I saw you with another,
A part of me lost life,
The hinges that held my being together
Only remained adhered because of you,
Knowing that you were breathing alighted my soul with life,
Because I was prospective of the fact that,
One day, you might actually be mine,
I had a special place in my fantasies that I liked to visit a lot,
Because it was the only place in which you were truly and eternally mine,
You were the reason why as grown as I was,
I still dared to imagine,
Because you being in my dreams brought reality to it all,
I kissed you affectionately in those fantasies,
Feeling your soft lips tickling my mouth,
Generating waves of euphoria in every cell in my body,
I would hold you in my arms, tight,
And never let go,
You would whisper in that melodious voice of yours,
And tell me that you loved me,
You would grab my cheeks in the softness of your palms,
And draw me closer to your bosom,
I would feel your heartbeat going in the same rhythm as mine,
I would fell every sense of mine
Awaken,
I would be alive…
Then reality would jerk me back,
I would then see you with those eyes burning with love,
But they were never burning for me,
I would see you wrapped in the arms of another,
As soon as this happened,
Every time,
I felt a hollow in me form,
I would lose life, wither in the wind,
Each time I saw you with another,
I realized you were never mine,
And I would die,
So you see my dear,
I’m no longer afraid,
I’ve died too many times to be scared…
Copyright © Takudzwa Mashingaidze | Year Posted 2019
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