George Aul Poet Rhyme

'tis New Year's Eve

'Twas the week after Christmas
and the bills came pouring in,
I went out for some drinks
but my wallet was mighty thin

My buddy beside me
and I in my football cap,
sat down at the watering hole
by the long-handled beer tap

I ordered a tall one
and it tasted so good,
I could see the owner cooking
under the greasy griddle hood

New Year's Eve was upon us
but I certainly didn't gush,
I had a truck on the fritz
and my toilet wouldn't flush

There were women running around
but I didn't much care,
my clothes were dirty
and I forgot to wash my hair

The clock was getting near midnight
and I thought I would die,
then this beautiful woman
looked me straight in the eye

She said, "I was Santa's helper"
as she pulled on my arm,
"I'm here to love you 
and do you no harm"

I saw a twinkle in her eye
as I stood up to talk,
she said, "Come with me"
and we started to walk

Out the door in a flash
I knew it was right,
then my eyes were blinded
by a blue flashing light

She shouted, "Put your hands up
we know you robbed a bank!"
I said, "I didn't do it!"
but she handcuffed me for the tank

With my hands behind my back
she shoved me into a car,
to the slammer I was going
and it wasn't very far

My buddy came out laughing
then he rolled on the ground,
he exclaimed, "Happy New Year!"
as fireworks exploded all around

It was a very sick joke 
to play on a guy who was down,
but I'll get the SOB this year...
that's one twisted New Year's Eve clown!

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