Through Life's Clenched Jaw
Through life’s clenched jaw, I'm in awe of my accomplishments. The pain in my life has started to fade as I open the blinds and pull back the shades. I've been reaching into my core, allowing my heart to pour out onto each page. Soaring through my thoughts, I watch my depression rot and wither. Looking back at my past gives me shivers; I was once homeless, covered in grit and grime. Sweat dripped down my face as I felt so out of place in reality, watching my life seep away like quicksand. Life didn’t deal me the best hand. Coming from a broken home, substance abuse was all I knew. This was my pattern for years until I was ready to shift gears. In a hopeless state of mind, I cried out for help, not knowing how to cope with the feelings that festered inside me. Narcotics Anonymous became my guide— a guiding light to break these chains within my heart and soul. Drug addiction won't continue to take its toll. I was lost to a society that no longer saw me as a person but as a transient on the street, hooked on drugs and unsure where I would sleep. The person I used to be is gone. I was able to right my wrongs and forgive those who caused me harm—not for them, but for myself, so I could move on. Move on from this torment that held me hostage—hostage to my disease between my ears. It was time to stop living in fear. The ways I coped for ten years left me in a chokehold I couldn't break alone, but with my loved ones by my side, I realized this was a road I didn't have to walk alone. I’ve grown from the broken, neglected little girl inside me—sewn back my broken pieces. If you're fighting something deep inside, don't give up hope, and let your pain be your guide. I hope you cry every tear without fear of judgment because you're introducing yourself to healing when you allow yourself to start feeling. I was once told it’s a sign of weakness to be vulnerable. But they were wrong, so I'll keep singing this song. The song of my pain, my sorrow, hoping to give someone else hope to live till tomorrow. I refuse to be labeled as an addict or a lost cause. The jaws of this world haven't swallowed me whole yet. The fire is burning in my soul, and with the help of others, my heart is whole.
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