Thoughts, They Haunt Me

Thoughts- Of HIM make my head spin. He leaves soon, for the army, and for all I know it could be my fault. Thoughts- Of what I had with HIM make me feel so empty inside. He made me feel the best I had in a long, long time, and I blew it, without even trying. Thoughts- Of what could've possibly been in my future had I not blown it bring me to tears. I still can't stop thinking, seeing, feeling us together for years--- married, with kids, a cute little house in the country, happy as can be--- but those are now just thoughts, they will never actually BE. Thoughts- Of why I let him go so easy, well they just make no sense to me. I was too willing to let the best thing in my world go, over a stupid little note. I found out about it, and without thinking it over and talking things through, I said nope that's all she wrote. Thoughts- Of a future without him in it--- seem like no future at all, an empty void that seems like it will never be filled.