This Body I'M In
Being an empath has its ups and downs…
Being an empath has its smiles and frowns…
I just know when people are talking behind my back…I am but a horribly lonesome shack
It’s sad that family and friends don’t have my back and weigh you down like a backpack
I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough
I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough
I’m sorry I wasn’t significant in your eyes
I’m sorry for telling you all sorts of white lies
But I’m done being defeated by depression
I’m done, trying to impress you when you express nothing but no appreciation
I will welcome the sun, even if you won’t and remain in your abyss for life
I will welcome the sun, even if it means separating peace from strife
I hate when you talk behind my back
Like I have no meaning in life at all
I’m like a curtain without a sturdy tack
As if I have no purpose to stand tall
I let my guard down and lift you up some more
All you do is bring me down and make me feel sore
I’m sorry I don’t have trust towards you anymore
Sorry, the truth hurts and the words you say tore me apart to the core
You don’t even apologize
Sometimes, it hurts, you know?
Don’t you even realize
That I still appreciate you though
You glisten in the moonlight
I have held you close with might
But, now, I must let go, you see? Do you clearly see?
Now, Know that trust in you doesn’t mend too easily with me
Everybody seems to disappear in the darkest, loneliest moment in time
This body I’m in screams out to You in vain as I gain more weight hopelessly…when will I be truly free?
Will you accept what’s bottled up inside me — this innocent, clever rhyme?
This body I’m in deems to be in disapproval in society’s standards and I moan and sigh helplessly
Being an empath, this selfless, encouraging empath
Has given me hope and wrath and I’ve gone the wrong path
When I told you that I don’t love you the same
The moment you made me feel insane and I’m the one to blame
I told you through silence and such
That I will never trust the one I lust
Or trust the one that hurt me so much
Or trust the one who backfires at me for no apparent reason — it’s a must
That I leave you behind in the dust of time and beyond the river’s bend
Sometimes, it hurts to the wretched core and this scar won’t mend
Unless you comprehend how the hell I feel…of course, it doesn’t matter to you
Because this feeling inside is killing me, but to you, it’s no big deal without rue
Without you and the others that spitefully gossip,
I’d like to say thank you for the bad reputation that brews around me
It screws my mindset and makes me want to RIP
I’d like to say you’re welcome for the trouble you cause me on the daily
Manipulate me, you narcissistic, arrogant and meanspirited individual…why are you so cruel?
I dare you to try to break me inevitably so
I can try to escape the neglect and abandonment that play me the frivolous fool
I can relate to Christ on the cross, you know?
But, I forgive beyond belief
I will give you some relief
By being merciful to you exceedingly so
By being a good example, despite my woe
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2023
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