These Nightmares

As I lay awake at night, and cry without a fight, I shudder from fright, and try to forget tonight. I hear the tremble in my own sobs and screams; I can’t seem to shake the effects of these dreams. I turn and turn and can’t seem to sleep, With this restless heart and hurt so deep I keep on finding myself in this ugly mess Of sleepless nights and nothing but distress. My body is frail and I keep on trembling, My face is pale from this endless wrestling; My mind is in a horrifying battlefield, My soul soars with pain, deeply concealed. As soon as I do fall asleep, and hope to find rest I start dreaming, nightmares finding their quest To haunt me and torment me in a wave of sorrow And nothing else to hold on for tomorrow. These are nightmares that turn out to be real Nightmares that caused me to remember and feel The pain and guilt of undoing mistakes Which has brought me to a place of complete disgrace. I then think back to my childhood dreams, Which were so subtle and without chilling screams. I remember how I used to be so content, Just to find myself, without torment. As I still can’t seem to sleep, nor forget, I wake up in the mornings with great regret Knowing that I’ve made some terrible choices, That left me in a hurdle, broken and voiceless. I go through the day, exhausted from within Just to find myself in some blissful sin Temptation and lust, condemnation and rebellion Nothing but those that leave me in depression. I realize, that because of these nightmares, And because of these continuing tears I am nothing but a broken little girl, Screaming for the world, to hear my deafening shrill. I am broken, I am hurting, and I am bleeding. Where do I go from here, even with no sleeping? How do I voice this brokenness so real, And hope for Him to come and heal?