The Zombie

My mother-in-law is a zombie I'm sure that woman is dead I tried to drive a stake thru her heart And even cut off her head But she's just way to sneaky She always knows I'm around Cause everytime I try to kill it She says, "Can I get you to drive me to town?" And let me tell you about the odor It can make a grown man cry Her perfume is, "ode de la zombie" You know, embalming fluid, after you die She walks around, in the middle of the night Trying, to make me her slave "Will you get me this, will you get me that" I even dug that woman a grave Zombies also have real bad breath It smells like dirty socks And they don't have a tooth in their head You'd think they been chewing rocks Now, not all mother-in-laws are zombies I think it's probably just mine And I don't think they ever die Cause mine's been around a long time Sometimes she just sits amd stares at me I mean, can you imagine anything worse? Then she mumbles some kinda mumbo jumbo Like some kind of voodoo curse I've been feeling kinda strange of late Sometimes, it's hard to think She probably cast some kinda spell on me That's causing my head to shrink Well, that's all I can tell you for now I've got another grave to dig I gotta hurry before my head keeps shrinkin' Cause my hat's already too big