The Words a Heart Can Bleed

First I get out a piece of paper
and think of words I want to right.
Then I'll get my pencil
and the pencil takes a bite.
It scratches and it claws
the words here that you read.
Have you ever read
the words a heart can bleed?
Like Noah it keeps raining
and I'm caught up in the flood.
Can you read my rain
when it's written in red blood?
It's dripping from this pencil.
It's coming from my soul.
The pain of my addiction
is climbing out of it's hole.
It climbs up on my shoulder
from a pit that's deep and black.
It looks just like a monkey
and it hangs out on my back.
It whispers in my ear.
It screams if I don't listen.
He says,"screw the rent
you don't need a pot to piss in."
He's getting really heavy.
I don't know what to do.
Why can't I tell him, no.
I don't know how, do you?
My monkey needs more drugs
like a rat wants more cheese.
I heard that feeding the monkey
is always a fatal disease.
Someone shoot the monkey
before my soul is lost as well.
I never seem to have enough money.
I do things I'll never tell.
Lord, You know me 
and You made me see
the darkness consuming everything
I wanted to be.
I'm sorry I ever let 
it come this far.
Blaming a monkey shows me
how bad my choices are.
I'm growing old 
but not growing up.
Makes me sick 
Feel like throwing-up.
Selfishness hides from me
but dwells deep inside.
I wish that I could see me
but I guess I'm blind.
With Your help God 
I'll make it through.
Straight is the path
that leads to You.
One more thing before 
my foggy mind forgets.
I think that I should
work the steps.
I'm stepping up to the plate
God throws the pitch.
Bean ball to the head of the monkey
now he can't *****.
I'm excited to get started
without the monkey around. 
Please don't let me trip on these steps
and come crashing to the ground.
I heard you shouldn't go fast.
You should be thorough and slow.
Fast or slow I still go up.
The bottom has only one place to go.

          Allan
            Robert
              Granstrom
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Anderson Avatar
April 23, 2009 at 4:32 AM
a heartfelt write that i empathize with. sometimes the answers are in our questions which this poem displays elqouently.
Christian Avatar
April 23, 2009 at 3:39 AM
satan can come in many disguises my friend, he tries anything and everything to make us fall, hold on to Gods' promises he loves us no matter what, he will catch us when we fall he holds our hand, I have put tis on my fave list, if that monkey trys to trip you up again tell it to go in Jesus' name, you are free through his blood, you are special and God's own treasure, anyway God bless from diane
Christian Avatar
April 23, 2009 at 3:32 AM
a great poem and prayer, God hels us climb that ladder to the top bit by bit, slow and steady wins the race, it takes time for all of us and if we fall god picks us back up and puts us firmy back on our feet to get back on track, I enjoyed this poem dedication from your heart , God bless you from diane
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