the barefoot bard Poet Rhyme

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The Well Dressed Man

THE WELL DRESSED MAN my first ever poem written in 2005



One night I came to Tea Rooms
I came along bare feet
The owner looked at me and said
Shoes!!!!! or ye canna have a seat

I looked at him and said,
My face, my arms, my legs
my bare and hairy chest
Why there's even women here 
who show a bit of breast

But he was determined 
that I should be well dressed
Bare feet are not acceptable
and he was not impressed

So out I went and fossicked
in my yellow kombi van
Until I found a pair of thongs
I'm now a well dressed man

The thongs they covered up my soles
enough to gain me entry
To take my place and sit among
the shod Maleny gentry

And as I ponder 'bout these feet 
that are so much maligned
I've never put them on the table
anywhere I've dined

But rules are rules as we all know 
regardless of the logic
But my lovely little bare feet
are seen as bloody toxic

No matter that there's sweaty jocks
or shoes that carry grit
The way we dress is how we're seen 
as sartorially unfit


Footnote: Not another poem until July 2025

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Joe Maverick July 19, 2026 at 10:35 PM Barley belivable Doug.? Lol))) it was pretty standard when i was growing up Though i was mostly in shoes or thongs..Glad to see your'e still calling Them thongs btw i remember telling a Story of a boy being gotten of a live electric cable and i added if the man hadent been wearing his thongs he'd Not have been able to save the kid He'd put them in his hands to break the current you see..All around me there were roars of laughter and bemused faces they were picturing a Man in skimpy underwear.!!! And said how did that help..Yelp.))) the barefoot bard July 20, 2026 at 8:44 PM Great story Joe Does footwear thong have a different name these days The only reason they were in my van was because I had attended a music festival some months earlier and I arrived bare foot. There must have been others cause they had them for sale at the admission point , Blessings Douglas

Andrea Dietrich February 21, 2026 at 11:53 PM I really like this. I misread what you had said. It's your book that is called Barefoot Bard this is the poem you directed me to. Well done.

Aly Bahr January 23, 2026 at 11:36 AM Love it Douglas! Last night at a restaurant, a rather inebriated acquaintance came up behind me and (with a few spicy words added) yelled "omg, she's wearing shoes, need a photo of this, you actually own a pair of shoes?" etc, etc. My reply? "they won't let me in otherwise" the barefoot bard January 26, 2026 at 11:51 PM Hi Aly Funny the bare feet . No one says anything much about bare feet but as soon as one wears shoes there are many comments. A great way to draw attention to oneself if that's what you're seeking I was bare feet on a busy Sydney street on a Saturday arve once with heaps of Asians coming toward me I could see every eye pointing toward my bare feet as if there was something strange happening Love the story of you experience