The Weird Lady

Way back in a long forgotten swamp Lived a woman who was feared But she pretty much stayed to herself Til some boy went and called her "weird" That's when all the trouble began For she ventured out of her shack We tried to get him to apologize But he just wouldn't take it back That old lady was angry And she was out to get revenge The hairs stood up on the back of your neck It even made some people cringe That old woman was a fearful sight Some say, she even wore a wig And her nose looked three feet long I'm telling you, that sucker was big Her teeth were as yellow as banana peels And her eyes were bloodshot red They even tried to bury her once Cause they thought the old hag was dead Anyway, getting back to my story That boy was getting mighty scared He said, "Please will somebody help me?" But there was no on who even dared For that old lady was looking for a husband To see her daughter become a bride There was no place for that little boy to run And no place for him to hide Now, that woman's daughter didn't look that bad And her teeth were as white as a pearl Her hair was long and flowing like silk She was just an ordinary girl That old lady finally caught that boy And they had that wedding in the fall Now, I know what you're all thinking But it wasn't my mother-in-law Well, I guess the moral of this story Is never call an old lady "weird" Even if it's like my mother-in-law Who really needs to shave her beard