The Weird Lady
Way back in a long forgotten swamp
Lived a woman who was feared
But she pretty much stayed to herself
Til some boy went and called her "weird"
That's when all the trouble began
For she ventured out of her shack
We tried to get him to apologize
But he just wouldn't take it back
That old lady was angry
And she was out to get revenge
The hairs stood up on the back of your neck
It even made some people cringe
That old woman was a fearful sight
Some say, she even wore a wig
And her nose looked three feet long
I'm telling you, that sucker was big
Her teeth were as yellow as banana peels
And her eyes were bloodshot red
They even tried to bury her once
Cause they thought the old hag was dead
Anyway, getting back to my story
That boy was getting mighty scared
He said, "Please will somebody help me?"
But there was no on who even dared
For that old lady was looking for a husband
To see her daughter become a bride
There was no place for that little boy to run
And no place for him to hide
Now, that woman's daughter didn't look that bad
And her teeth were as white as a pearl
Her hair was long and flowing like silk
She was just an ordinary girl
That old lady finally caught that boy
And they had that wedding in the fall
Now, I know what you're all thinking
But it wasn't my mother-in-law
Well, I guess the moral of this story
Is never call an old lady "weird"
Even if it's like my mother-in-law
Who really needs to shave her beard
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