The Weather Outside Is Frightful
The Weather Outside is Frightful
Christmas in Miami is a difficult sell
When the outside temp is hotter than Hell
St. Nick tries his best in the humid air
But soon sweats right through his underwear
Partridges tend to avoid palm trees
And geese hardly ever lay by warm seas
Mocking birds ignore their instinct to tease
And French hens never appear in threes
Christmas carols just don’t seem quite right
With nary a snowflake anywhere in sight
And how does one keep his sled on course
When the winds are blowing at hurricane force?
Those poor reindeer, ‘specially Cupid and Comet
Suffer from heatstroke and projectile vomit
And landing on rooftops still radiating heat
Raises painful blisters on their feet
The snowmen and wreaths are all baloney
And most of the trees are actually phony
The words: “Sleigh bells ring; are you listenin’”
Ring kind of hollow, ‘cause nothing is glistenin’
Now I’m not suggesting we give up the spirit
That’s not my message; I don’t want to hear it
Besides, much of the same could be said about Hanukkah
Especially if one lives near Santa Monica
Copyright © Alan Balter | Year Posted 2017
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