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The Uninviting Feeling

I'm not at all innocent...when you make 
me hurt inside
I'm getting over you...but I'm not giving up 
completely, though you are not present in 
my life
It rips my high hopes into shreds of 
worthlessness
I will never be the one who has a tainted 
soul, devouring lies
My heart is full of lament - you beg to 
differ...
I wouldn't have the guts to bid you a 
farewell
Don't take from me my happiness, you 
invaded my personal bubble
I'd rather be with someone else who has 
love abiding in their heart
I don't understand love at such a young 
age...besides, I'm not ready for such a big 
commitment
Anyone could say that they adore me, but I 
won't treasure it
--------------------------------
I know that you'll ignore my calls of relief,
I'm screaming out loud, so listen right this 
instance 
You're digging too deep; my smile 
embraces a frown 
My dreams are failing me now,
What am I supposed to do? 
What do you think you are? The queen of 
the Earth? 
I pray for true love to lead me to a 
pleasant place...
I didn't expect being in a situation like 
this...
This is not how I planned things out
This uninviting feeling took me by surprise
Time is running out, I got to keep on track
I'm weak and fragile...
Do not hunt me down again, predator - 
you are so vile...
I saw you flee outside - you were as high 
as a kite
It made me lose all confidence
All of this commotion doesn't make sense
Your eyes, your deceiving lies -
they spew out fire
Your lips, your chapped lips - 
they project a liar
Unconditional hatred sets me on fire
I can tell that I'm not stronger than I 
realize, 
But you gottah know that I'm not alone 
'cause He looks after me
Did you forget the evenings that you and I 
cherished so much with each other? 
Do you even care if I end up drowning in 
agony?
All I have to do is rely on the Lord
because without him, I'm nothing
It's painful to see you harming yourself 
again
It's hard to accept the past and the truth 
behind it
I'm penniless because of you and your 
lack of affection
Our time was up, I can't help but cry aloud
I need you to look at me;
I know that I'm not that good looking 
Hold on to faith and hope...
We depart from our peaceful states
I gave in to your pity, now I'm thinking and 
acting like a fool
It figures that you're gone and I'm left 
alone -
Shards of me crash unto the floor
--------------------------------
I know that you'll not support in this time 
of tribulation
I'm whispering to you, so listen right very 
carefully
You're pushing my limits; my smile 
embraces a frown 
My nightmares are ganging up on me now,
What am I supposed to prepare for? 
What do you want from me? You won't 
earn back my trust...
I pray for true love to lead me to a sacred 
haven
I didn't expect being in a dangerous 
dilemma 
This is not how I imagined things to 
unfold...
This uninviting feeling took me by surprise
Peace is running out, I got to fight for it 
more and more
I'm weak and fragile...growing sore
Do not hunt me down again, big bad wolf - 
you are so hardcore
I saw you sprint outside - you were as 
aggressive as a hawk
It made me lose all strength 
All of this commotion increased by the 
minute...
Your eyes, your deceiving eyes -
they spew out fire
Your lips, your chapped lips - 
they unveil a liar
Unfeeling passion sets me aflame
I can tell that I'm not stronger than I 
realize, 
But you gottah know that I'm not alone 
'cause He looks after me
How come I'm scared out of the blue?
Will there be an end to violence? 
Why do I feel cold when you pass by me, 
yet you still as warm as a blanket?
I don't want to make things look too 
difficult to solve
I convinced myself that I don't have the 
hearts for you...but denying it will not get 
me somewhere safe
I can't face the fact that our love is 
blinding
Turn the other way, I'm so ashamed
I'm longing for change...I'm trying to not 
come across as insane
I took another mysterious lane, 
But it's no big deal...
My wounds deep inside will heal
You'll notice that you have nothing to gain
Your eyes, your deceiving eyes -
they spew out fire
Your lips, your chapped lips - 
they sound like a liar
Today seems hard to rebuild hope
This fearfulness overwhelmed me
You ditched me and I preyed upon 
distress
You deleted my progress...
Right now, it felt like I've fell right into a 
hideous mess
My life was so meaningless all along...
I beg for significance to enlighten my self-
destructive spirit 
Before I collide into the abyss

Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014

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