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The Truth of It All

Giving the answer "I don't know"
is just as bad as telling a man
hes going to die,
Do you want me to lose my pride,
make me feel like a joke
just because
you don't take us seriously?
Do you want me to lose my calm
balanced state of mind,
with an answer as insulting as I don't know?
Because I wonder
everyday
when you talk about us
being together
forever,
do you really mean forever?
Because right now
I'm giving you a chance to get
away from the tears,
I've seen them.
From the oppressors,
who say "you can't be this way,"
and instead get close to
those who love you,
you know they do.
Why won't you come live with me?
I ask myself
day in and day out
"What did I do wrong?"
You tell me nothing,
that I didn't do anything
that it was you, not me.
That's what people say to their partners
during a breakup.
Remember when I told you to go home,
not to contact me over the weekend,
think about what's truly important.
You told me there was not a doubt in your mind,
that I was the most important thing to you,
That you loved me too much to run away.
Do you remember when these oppressors told us
we weren't aloud to be together,
how we shared one last stolen kiss,
So much emotion went into that kiss.
Do you remember when I picked you up,
threw you into the pool
at the YMCA,
how you pulled me in too,
splashing me in the water?
Don't you remember that I love you?
Better yet,
Don't you remember that you love me?
I want you to tell me whats wrong,
I want to feel important,
like I'm making a difference,
like there's a reason I'm right here--
right here next to you,
holding you until the sobs stop
and telling you it will be alright.
The truth is that it cant be alright
if you shut me out,
if you tell me "I'm fine",
if you don't share with me,
the on you keep telling that you love
the problems that I know are there.
Don't hide from me,
and don't force that smile,
its not pretty.
A real smile is more attractive.
I keep on trying,
but like you keep saying,
I just don't know.

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