Home » Poems » Forrest Pasky » The Starkness of the Day

The Starkness of the Day

when the sun rotates

backwards in the sky

and the blue goes on and on

without the wisp of a cloud

we are in the starkness of the day


when unmeasured time

passes on the hands

of a broken watch only

do we understand when these

days are gone the starkness of the day

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Anthony Mark

Date: 12/29/2016 5:09:00 AM

Good title, great idea let down a little by a narrative style , which would lend itself stronger to " showing" rather than " telling" , you have the words stacked up like lgs for burning, then turned on the electric heater, not a criticism of your writing , just the style and lack of engagement....keep looking and it will blind you ...Ian

Probir Gupta

Date: 12/29/2016 4:10:00 AM

"Unmeasured time passes on the hands of a broken watch" , ... figuratively beautiful ... time is forced to perform a mime perhaps ...

Forrest Pasky
Date: 12/29/2016 10:11:00 AM

Thanks for read and comment Probir. Much appreciated. Forrest