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The Starkness of the Day

when the sun rotates

backwards in the sky

and the blue goes on and on

without the wisp of a cloud

we are in the starkness of the day


when unmeasured time

passes on the hands

of a broken watch only

do we understand when these

days are gone the starkness of the day

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 12/29/2016 5:09:00 AM
Good title, great idea let down a little by a narrative style , which would lend itself stronger to " showing" rather than " telling" , you have the words stacked up like lgs for burning, then turned on the electric heater, not a criticism of your writing , just the style and lack of engagement....keep looking and it will blind you ...Ian
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Date: 12/29/2016 4:10:00 AM
"Unmeasured time passes on the hands of a broken watch" , ... figuratively beautiful ... time is forced to perform a mime perhaps ...
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Pasky Avatar
Forrest Pasky
Date: 12/29/2016 10:11:00 AM
Thanks for read and comment Probir. Much appreciated. Forrest

Book: Reflection on the Important Things