The Seat By the Toilet

The Seat by the Toilet - Rob Barratt(rbarratt@cooptel.net) Yes, the seat by the toilet’s The best by a mile; it’s The only seat in which to sit In the seat by the loo You’ve a wonderful view Of the road (and a faint whiff of sh….) Oh, the seat by the lav Is the seat I must have I can straighten my legs down the aisle I’ve got people to smile at As they queue for the toilet It’s the seat for a man of my style Now the toilet’s so clean It’s a hygienist’s dream So you don’t need to wait till the terminus Rest assured that the rest room’s Not an infested pest room Or the habitat of something verminous In the seat at the rear There is nothing to fear And your icy cold heart will just melt There is room there to dance Or adjust underpants If it wasn’t for your safety belt In the seat by the bog You won’t sleep like a log But it’s an en suite location, location ‘Cos if you need a poo It’s just right next to you And it’s yours all the way to the station Though the seat by the privy May get rather whiffy When the occupants don’t shut the door As they exit the closet Where they’ve made their deposit Just reach out, turn the knob, por favor The lavatorial seat Will not always smell sweet But it’s clearly the one I prefer I’ll pretend I’m the driver And I bet you a fiver That nobody else will sit ther (Liverpudlian pronunciation) (sing) Oh I do like to be By the WC Oh, I do like to be close beside it ………….. (speak) I will know where you’re going With your to-ing and fro-ing Bowel or bladder, you know you can’t hide it So ….. On the National Express If your body is stressed And you’re feeling the need to uncoil it Make your journey complete And head straight for that seat Just relax and stretch out by the toilet (sing) Oh dear, what can the matter be I like the seat right next to the lavatory It brings me great satisfaction and happily Nobody else will sit there.