The Scary Realisation That Makes Me the Happiest Me
First,
I thought of you as the guy
I had always searched for.
We chatted daily,
and it felt like home to me.
You would write such easy,
great things for me.
And I –
I liked you, really.
And then it happened:
Our first talk.
I had to call you;
we talked about gaming together,
and yes,
we did that too.
The moment I heard your voice,
I came to the realisation
which I feel now all the time:
I want to hear your voice
now, every time.
Which is weird,
because I hate calling people.
It’s awkward if I don’t know
what to say.
The silence is awkward.
But not with you,
I have to say.
With you, silence is scary.
The quiet moments are haunting me;
they show me
how it will be when we hang up,
how it would be
without you.
And that makes me think:
I never want to lose you.
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