Timothy Hicks Poet Pantoum

The Road Ahead

Rushing to the car at six in the morning,
packing knickknacks and things we need.
With sleep in our eyes hearing the robins sing;
a prelude for the road ahead.

Packing knick knacks and things we need:
from gameboys to confusing road maps.
A prelude for the road ahead,
the little ones softly nod their heads.

From gameboys to confusing road maps,
Pokemon evolve, as does the scenery through the glass.
The little ones softly nod their heads,
faces silhouetted, driving through the narrow tunnels.

Pokemon evolve, as does the scenery through the glass.
With sleep in our eyes hearing the robins sing.
Faces silhouetted, driving through the narrow tunnels.
Rushing to the car at six in the morning.

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Caleah Buil May 31, 2013 at 12:54 PM I loved this! I've actually never really read a poem like this before. (I know, my knowledge of different types of poetry is limited but I'm learning!) And found this entertaining with a great flow! Timothy Hicks May 31, 2013 at 11:17 PM Pantoums are tricky, but can create an interesting atmosphere if you work at it. Glad you liked!

Richard Lamoureux May 29, 2013 at 9:19 AM I would replace the first line of your Pantoum with your last line. Then it would be perfect. I really enjoyed your poem Tim. It created an excellent mood. Timothy Hicks May 29, 2013 at 9:54 PM Thanks for the advice! I know I was breaking a rule there... but at the time the "breeze" bit seemed to fit better.

Richard D Seal May 28, 2013 at 6:33 PM Gameboys or confusing road maps, which would you choose Tim? Nice little poem but I'm afraid after being driven crazy by my grandkids with Pokemon it was the open road for me lol Take care, Richard Timothy Hicks May 28, 2013 at 11:05 PM I suppose neither... I'm not good with directions, and when I'm on road trips I just enjoy looking at all the scenery. I was imagining little kids playing gameboys in the back seat, however. Unaware of the "evolution" going on outside the windows... glad you enjoyed!

Ilene Bauer May 28, 2013 at 6:12 PM you've done a fine job with this strange poetic format. for some reason, i can't wrap my head around this style of poetry. still, you've created a very vivid mood here and i could picture it all so clearly. nice one! Timothy Hicks May 28, 2013 at 11:03 PM Thank you Ilene. It is an unusual form, no doubt, but it can be really rewarding in the end when you pull it off.