The Ripping

You ripped me 
One word at a time
Shredded my smile
Pulled at my sensitivity
I was never strong enough 
To pull back my paper heart

You took the pieces of me
Arranged them in your perfect order
I prayed for the wind to come
Hoping I would be carried away
Flutter to a new more loving home
Instead, I endured your paper cuts 

I became your paper mâché 
Shaped into the image of you
Glued with your inconsistancies
Coated in your endless smoke
Sarcasm and beer
I marinated in your endless tears

You painted me with a retarded label
Your stupid failure of a son
Forced to endure that brush
It was with your eyes I learned to see
Everyone else was better than me
I was a failure times three

My inside empty
I became light as air
As time went on I ceased to care
It happend slowly you weren't aware
Until one day I floated past your stare
No longer raw and bare

I clawed and ripped
Rewrote my page
My renaissance 
coming of age
Not your puppet on a stage
Contorted by your rage

I have lost you to your death
The air much clearer, still I feel your breath
Within my doubts your lies still hide
Yet within me a new strength resides
Your image of me no longer applies
Doubt and fear reduced in size
No longer your "DUMMY" 
On faith I rise

For Charlotte's contest, heart and soul confessional.
Written, September 1st 2014.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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12
Tyrrell Avatar
November 4, 2017 at 4:28 AM
i really enjoyed the way you wrote this, and the way you compare
Lamoureux Avatar
November 4, 2017 at 7:35 AM
Thanks Daisy, I appreciate the visit.
Wells Avatar
September 23, 2014 at 9:56 AM
wow that was by far the most amazing thing I have read !
Lamoureux Avatar
September 23, 2014 at 12:37 PM
Thanks Desiray. I really like your name, it's cool!
Onclaud Avatar
September 9, 2014 at 7:09 AM
this is compelling, Richard.. so well done!.. sweet congrats!
Hamilton Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 5:33 PM
wow Rick such heartfelt words truly a work of art hugs soup mail
Lamoureux Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 6:07 PM
Thanks Shadow.
Guillermo - Fraser Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 7:06 AM
Heartfelt indeed.. I'm glad I chose this among the winner's list... God bless you..:)
Lamoureux Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 8:48 AM
Thanks sweet Olive.
Guillermo - Fraser Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 7:07 AM
Congratulations!!
Gibson Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 1:03 PM
I knew you would be here on the winner's list. Congratulations, Richard. So glad you with the help of our Savior rose above the abuse.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 8:48 AM
I am glad as well, I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like had He not saved me.
Costello Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 10:54 AM
Richard- Im so happy for you-congratulations on your Win for your powerful poem. Christine :-)
Lamoureux Avatar
September 8, 2014 at 8:46 AM
Thanks Christine.
A. Sharma Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 2:21 AM
Powerful emotions portrayed so well Richard! Brilliant write indeed! Loved each line of last stanza the most! It got imprinted on my heart! Congrats on huge win on splendid write!
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 8:39 AM
Without faith I would have perpetuated the cycle of pain. Praise be to my Heavenly Father.
Dietrich Avatar
September 6, 2014 at 10:29 PM
wowow,Richard.you are one of those guys who had to endure a torturous childhood and I am thankful you have come out of it the strong good man that you are. this is excellent, the way you used assonance and alliteration to make rhyming effect inside the free verse. A well constructed and meaningful sincere poem. Congrats for your win.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 8:36 AM
Thanks Andrea, some days I am a better man than others. Without knowing the kindness of God, there is no telling what direction I may have gone.
Allison Avatar
September 6, 2014 at 6:22 PM
The pain and troubles of your childhood has shaped you into the incredible man you are now Richard - an inspirational write and a great win :-) Hugs jan xx
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 8:34 AM
Thanks Jan, a big hug back to you.
Yvonne Avatar
September 6, 2014 at 5:27 PM
an excellent write. You drew me in and kept me at your side the whole time. Congratulations on your well deserved win. God Bless.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 8:33 AM
Thanks for your blessing and kind words.
Puddifoot Avatar
September 6, 2014 at 4:23 PM
you've really written with heart and soul here, painful, but ending on a note of positivity; I like the paper analogy you've used, stanzas two and three are particularly strong, just as you are a strong person - congrats on your win in my contest
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 8:25 AM
I am honored both by you picking my poem and your kind words. Thanks Charlotte.
Lawless Avatar
September 6, 2014 at 3:50 PM
Amazingly painful write, Richard. I cringed at your description of the spiritual shredding of a young life. The tenacity of the human spirt continually amazes me. Thanks for sharing this.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 7, 2014 at 8:30 AM
Thanks John, God gently took my hand and led me to my blessings.
Sirak Avatar
September 5, 2014 at 8:16 AM
I think you just won the contest. Children are like paper mache, squares for origami and the adults in their lives fold them into little boxes they have to fight free of. Oh if every parent could just fold the paper into birds and send the children soaring to the stars.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 5, 2014 at 8:50 AM
I like your oragami bird metophor. Thanks Monterey.
Benoit Avatar
September 4, 2014 at 12:22 PM
WoW! You wrote my story. I lived with it for eighteen years and ran away from home when I graduated high school. Spent two lost decades trying to find myself beneath that which she had wrought. Thought I would expire on the streets before that would happen, but I managed to find enough of me that I set course toward me, sans her camouflage.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 5, 2014 at 8:52 AM
I too left home early. I'm glad you found your way out. Thanks for reading this piece.
Bailey Avatar
September 4, 2014 at 10:57 AM
Wonderful, I could feel your pain, where would we be without poetry
Lamoureux Avatar
September 5, 2014 at 8:53 AM
Thanks Michelle.
Widjanarko Avatar
September 4, 2014 at 8:50 AM
Never disappointing... It's been a long time but still your masterpiece as inspirational as ever! :D it is dark but I found it deep, loved it Rick :) wishing you a great day there :D hugs, Yanny
Lamoureux Avatar
September 4, 2014 at 9:20 AM
My Sunny Friend, so glad to have you back visiting me. A big hug for you Yanny.
Squyres Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 11:26 PM
So deeply moving and still I see the strength rise .... renewing itself daily... in your words. No person should endure this, much less a child. Wonderful, heartfelt writing !!
Lamoureux Avatar
September 4, 2014 at 8:03 AM
Thanks once again for your visit. I hold no animosity for how life started, my God used that time to shape my soul. He was taking something bad and trough it bestowing gifts upon me, compassion, resilience, decrement, determination, humility and many more. Without God's love I would not have survived and would have followed the same destructive path as my father.
Bordner Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 8:29 PM
To break the chains of ill tempered brains, a true moment of glory Richard. You found your soul when your heart went from paper to muscle. There are several outstanding and poignant metaphors in this powerful poem. I'm awed at how well your metaphors capture the ache of abuse. We never receive answers that are good enough to explain the abuse we endure from the ones who should love us most. A most bold revelation Richard. " On Faith I rise..." J.A.B.
Lamoureux Avatar
September 4, 2014 at 8:12 AM
Hi Justin, see my comment to Elly above. Thanks for this moving response, I truly have risen on faith.
Bordner Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 8:31 PM
A FAV. J.A.B.
Mcintosh Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 3:36 PM
so sad that you had a relationship like this with your parents. Your poem is excellent.God bless you and happy writing. Love and prayers, GIna
Lamoureux Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 4:07 PM
I was fortunate to have a mom who loved us, unfortunately she was a victim as well. I deal with this topic in my book titled "DUMMY, Hurtful and Healing words". If you are interested soup mail me and I can provide more information. Thanks for the thoughful visit.
Devonshire Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 11:08 AM
Dear Richard, How sad it is for a parent to treat their child this way. I read your poems and comments. I see your handsome face. How could a parent not be impressed by such a remarkable son? So very, very sorry if you truly endured this. Your poem surely tugged at my heart and soul, so you should do very well in the contest. Love, Carolyn
Lamoureux Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 4:11 PM
See Mama Bears comments below. I think it's safe to say she is proud of me. I am glad my poem struck a chord. no need to be sorry, life turned out exactly as it should. Many blessings came from those early years.
Horsman Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 10:33 AM
Oh so many lessons taught here, wonderful imagery,,,
Lamoureux Avatar
September 3, 2014 at 4:11 PM
Thanks Harry, lessons that have lasted a life time, no regrets.
Walker  Avatar
September 2, 2014 at 10:33 PM
When someone puts you down, it can make your vulnerability arise. However, esteem you may become from other success. That helps you to eliminate the negative stressors. Superlative write Richard. You should place in this contest with high marks. Verlena
Lamoureux Avatar
September 2, 2014 at 10:38 PM
Wether or not I do, this has been a valuable excercise.
Mohn Avatar
September 2, 2014 at 9:20 PM
Really powerful and moving Richard...your paper metaphor was brilliant and poignant
Lamoureux Avatar
September 2, 2014 at 9:31 PM
Thanks David, I am pleased it resonated with you.
Lindley Avatar
September 2, 2014 at 8:49 PM
Richard, at the time unknown to me my daughter endured that from her mother. Never dare would my ex-wife do that with me present. Only after our divorce and my daughter 17 did my sweet daughter tell what her mom had done for years! She was just that afraid. A truly great write my friend. I am adding it to my fav list!! You survived and now triumph because of your great character! giving this solid 7 my friend..
Lamoureux Avatar
September 2, 2014 at 9:30 PM
I give Glory to God for reparenting me. I am sorry your daughter went through this. Thanks for your kindness and visit Robert.
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