The Result of a Lobotomy
Clinging to the shape of my stomach as my body curls into a crescent.
Body aches fill every inch of me as a lobotomy is performed on my heart.
The hands of a newborn turn the screws, left, right.
Your hands, her hands, his hands,
But my heart gets no better.
Instead it no longer beats, it no longer pumps, it no longer feels.
I'm a vegetable without any flavor.
Bland and stale that no one can have,
That no one should have.
You don't understand, and that just pounds the hammer harder into the spike,
Against my heart.
I wait, I wait, and I wait,
Almost a year now, yet the son of Aphrodite still laughs in my face.
The world still laughs in my face, which is why I want to fade away.
I try to fade into the abyss, yet I'm not allowed.
I great force, known as my loved ones, thrust me back to the spotlight,
Back to the surface.
I want to drown, yet this idiotic life vest is glued to my skin.
The floaties meant for a child are sewn into my flesh.
I just want to run away.
I need to, so I don't forget who I am.
The real me that's disappearing.
I love you because you remind me of myself.
The good me, the old me, and the present me.
All the good you see in me is in you too.
Run away before it's too late.
Copyright © Mariah Lopez | Year Posted 2016
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