The Patron Saint of Pettiness

She’s up at dawn binoculars raised
Surveying lawns like crimes unfazed
A rogue petunia out of line
She files a claim by 8:09

A car she doesn’t recognize
Becomes a case she must analyze
Stolen she mutters pacing slow
She’s texting the board before they know

If someone grills past quiet time
She drafts a message crisp and primed
Attachments timestamps photos too
Her self-proclaimed duty through and through

She’s judge and jury of the street
A self-appointed rules elite
No porch too cluttered hedge too tall
No harmless fun too small to stall

The neighbors begrudgingly grit their teeth
When she reports a wreath beneath
The approved specs for seasonal décor
They’ve learned to keep an eye on their door

Not a board member but eager to enforce
She guards the HOA’s covenant with a nosy force
A watchdog? Maybe A pest? Perhaps
Forever wasting her days setting petty traps
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

Poem

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Dietrich Avatar
April 1, 2026 at 1:10 AM
Haha. Great rhyming story telling here. I know this type. They are horrid. Have i put you on my followed poet list. Let me see
Delegans Avatar
April 4, 2026 at 7:46 AM
Yes indeed we have all seen the type. I made it a point to ensure you’re on my list. Always enjoy reading your work. Thank you for the support and encouraging comments!
Chircop Avatar
March 29, 2026 at 7:22 AM
This truly resonates! Love the humor and rhythm throughout. :)
Delegans Avatar
March 30, 2026 at 8:45 AM
Thank you for reading and sharing a compliment, Christina.
Wolf Avatar
March 28, 2026 at 9:08 PM
Boy, does this resonate. There's always one like this in every 'barrel,' it seems.
Delegans Avatar
March 30, 2026 at 8:45 AM
Indeed there is always one in every crowd. Thanks for checking my poem out, Gershon.
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