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The Parking Lot Duck-Head-Another True Tom Tale

I live in a trailer park in upstate N.Y.
proud, dumb white trailer trash I is
don't really know well my neighbors
to me that is just as well
you'll understand far better when
you hear the tale I'll tell

across from my small single trailer
looms a large expensive double
but the weird guy living there
seems potential trouble

he has this most odd fetish
this obsession I find odd
he seems very territorial
like his brain was made of sod

he has, in front of his homesite
5 marked parking spaces you see
he has but one little car
and never has any company

he posted a big sign, "No Parking!!"
that's just what it did say
but weirder by far I tell you
and this I can't figure out to this day
he parks his little car,
in an angle so oblique
so he covers at least 3 spots
now I know just what it seems he does really seek
and it's so dumb I laughed so hard,  I grew weak
he's "protecting" his useless ground
which he doesn't own at all
it kind'a makes me laugh
at such moronic gall

he's very like a dog
so I wonder if he might
urinate around these spots
perhaps in the middle of the night
the thought, oh my!, that'd be a scary sight!
"marking his territory"
that's really public space
to me he seems buffoonish
a disgrace to the human race

I watch him through my window
sometimes when he comes out
this little round weasel clown-man
makes you want to shout
"hey, duck-head!  why not a barricade?
and keep out even more?
and maybe provide you with some shade?
or maybe a fence and toll booth
and armed guards to keep away
those who are a parking space thief?
and think just how it would provide you
with much, much more relief?
"cause you worry someone will park
in one of "your spots"
I guess this fear is your strong belief.

Copyright © Tom Bell | Year Posted 2007

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