The Pagan Angel Who Doesn't Rot in the Mind
The Pagan Angel Who Doesn't Rot in the Mind
Even though I said I let you go into perfect oblivion,
my heart still beats a beat I know is pathetic and real,
two years have passed and you're still in my head like a metal plate,
I swore you barely cross my mind but oaths are deceitful.
I even made my mom believe a few times that I forgot everything,
what are you made of enough to completely ravage someone's life,
angel is what they call you but I think pagan is the right word,
because when the drink pours you become something untamed wild.
It's like someone from inside you surfaces a beautiful hidden demon,
girl I'm seriously asking you what are you actually made of under your mask,
this is a question of mine I can never free myself from ever,
girl please tell me what you truly are before I go completely insane.
I don't seem able to cooperate I don't seem able to solve this in any way,
I want to let you go but I can't because somehow you are everything,
everything my life has been spent on you like a thrown coin,
my lines that knock down many girls fail at you gloriously shamefully.
You're like a different race made specially to destroy my existence,
you're something that's placed in my head to not rot and not die,
angel is what they call you but pagan is the word that fits you,
because angels don't burn the way you burn in green and black flames.
Even though I said I left I still remain in the same place motionless,
the heart beats a stupid and sincere beat that doesn't listen to me at all,
two years have passed but time hasn't passed through you you're frozen,
you barely cross my mind but my mind is only you and nothing else.
I lied to my mom I lied to myself I lied to the whole world,
what are you made of what impossible cosmic extraterrestrial strange material,
angel they say but you're a pagan who dances in desecrated temples,
when the drink flows you transform into something that no longer has a human name.
Someone comes out of you a force that isn't you but is you most truthfully,
girl tell me what eternally durable substance you're solidly built from,
this question haunts me like a persistent ghost that doesn't leave,
tell me what you are before I lose the last thread of reason that still holds me.
I don't cooperate with reality I don't solve this impossible equation to solve,
I want to let you go but you're everything my life has been completely spent on,
my lines that work on everyone fail spectacularly on you,
you're a separate race created to destroy my peace and fragile balance.
You're placed in my head like an eternal crystal that never rots,
angel they say but you're a pagan who burns in black illuminating the darkness,
because angels don't drink don't transform don't become beautiful beasts,
you're something else something nameless that keeps me prisoner in hellish paradise.
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