The Other

A seismic change has come over me these last few days, 
Ever since I fell in love with a pure and generous heart 
And ever since I pledged myself to become worthy, 
Not only of his love – but God’s 
I have found myself turning my back on the past, 
Averting my gaze from the sins I used to commit, 
From the poisons and indecent beauties that tempt
Nowadays I seek to push aside the bottle of wine 
I turn my head away when a handsome man walks by 
Or at most sneak a fleeting glimpse…
Because for me now there is only one man 
My future husband 
Or so I would like to have myself believe – 
But at odd moments, I find that I tend to lapse 
And my thoughts stray across the desert sands to you 
Reclining in your murky den of iniquity, 
All entrancing liquid eyes and serrated sensibilities 
And sometimes, despite the stab of guilt, 
I find myself wishing I was there with you…
In your arms for one last night 
One last fling with the old devils of drink and death metal 
But then, thank goodness, I always manage to catch myself
To jerk at the reins, at the self imposed bit in my mouth, 
Until my jaws are flecked with bloody foam – 
And I turn my back on your face of demonic beauty 
And raise my eyes to the heavens, to distract myself, 
Perhaps, from the tempting darkness of your soul – 
A darkness that is mirrored in my own
And that I do my best to ignore…
For the sake of my future husband and for God, 
Who try their divine best not to blame me – 
Though heaven knows I still find sin much easier than virtue
And my heart still bears a black veneer
And throbs to the beat of a death metal drum
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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Hilliker Avatar
October 11, 2009 at 1:22 PM
Compelling poem, Amy I love the phrase, "I still find sin much easier than virtue." Good luck to you. Thanks, Kim
Brown Avatar
October 11, 2009 at 8:23 AM
I have read your excellent poetry today and enjoyed it. Thank you Amy. I hope you are enjoying your weekend. Love, Carol
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