The Other

A seismic change has come over me these last few days, Ever since I fell in love with a pure and generous heart And ever since I pledged myself to become worthy, Not only of his love – but God’s I have found myself turning my back on the past, Averting my gaze from the sins I used to commit, From the poisons and indecent beauties that tempt Nowadays I seek to push aside the bottle of wine I turn my head away when a handsome man walks by Or at most sneak a fleeting glimpse… Because for me now there is only one man My future husband Or so I would like to have myself believe – But at odd moments, I find that I tend to lapse And my thoughts stray across the desert sands to you Reclining in your murky den of iniquity, All entrancing liquid eyes and serrated sensibilities And sometimes, despite the stab of guilt, I find myself wishing I was there with you… In your arms for one last night One last fling with the old devils of drink and death metal But then, thank goodness, I always manage to catch myself To jerk at the reins, at the self imposed bit in my mouth, Until my jaws are flecked with bloody foam – And I turn my back on your face of demonic beauty And raise my eyes to the heavens, to distract myself, Perhaps, from the tempting darkness of your soul – A darkness that is mirrored in my own And that I do my best to ignore… For the sake of my future husband and for God, Who try their divine best not to blame me – Though heaven knows I still find sin much easier than virtue And my heart still bears a black veneer And throbs to the beat of a death metal drum