The Orderly Flame
The Orderly Flame
In a burning chaotic fire there are beauty
There are acts and orderliness and a duty
There is a distinct ability in disabilities
There are arrangements in a burning fire
Find the orderliness in your addiction desire
And any other activities
To be an addict, in the language of the world
Is in a strict sense, a challenge of survival
It denies the seductive allure of substance use
It is a misplaced greed, marrying the chemical
Carving art from the degradation of the self
It is an outpaced desire that caught fire
The brown, enormous odour of the barn,
The simple sense of holding a cigarette,
The pipe, the usual routine, the behavior.
A trusted act, like a rooster deep in feast
With a throaty crow all swallowed by the chaos
Swinging from the rafters of the weary mind
Singing like a bird, but her voice was a cage
A tragic beauty pinned to the spotlight,
A wild elephant tied to the Iroko tree
Paying the cost of existence without belonging.
The junkie demon revealed, reels in an act
Though unwilling but consuming identity,
Demanding, deep in debt, leaving a life marred
By the decay of an extraordinary talent undone
I am both the thief, the store and the stolen
I know what I want, and I want what I know.
Given the opportunity, I choose the other I too know,
Locked in the portrait of the opoid or alcoholic.
Wrestling the complexities of recovery,
Searching for self-acceptance in the wreckage,
Still searching for the desire in the fire.
A hidden ambivalence makes a cry
This is the duality of the addiction demon
The bond that holds you in protracted captivity
Presents itself as your salvation
The only thing that makes you feel home.
Though you know it’s a lie, you still feel temporarily home
Help me cut the circle before starvation.
It is a struggle, a challenge and the change
Needs all support and wise exchange
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