The Night the Moon Refused To Shine

on this stage
 as i face the struggle within
 setting the past aside
 i've grown used to my indecent hostilities
 transfixed by the sadness of poverty 

i tire of the disappearance of life
 doing things no one appreciates 

i try to ignore the irrational
 shall i go on- keeping up the payments of life? 

all the crazy torment, of taking chances
 i utter the words while the past twists and turns
 as I keep talking it over with me...with God
 
covered in despair i feel like a discoverer...
 on a ship with no life raft moved to the side of the river 

i've fought through the inevitableness of agony
 accused of an increase of emptiness
 i've sacrificed romance forever
 with the time ticking away 

time has no explanation
 it's all- or nothing
 along the path with life's mortgage past due
 haunting memories -rehashing the disorder of belief
 
i assessed my expectations
 i'm just too tired to play the games anymore
 i accuse destiny of my dying inside
 
i inherit threats of leaving
 coloring the days and nights for the time being
 in this land of dreams, an unbearable obsession devours me...
 i was so torn by the exit of you
 somehow i've grown accustomed of losing everybody in this life
 should i let my despair show...
 beholding an obscure face
 with tears refusing to cry their wetness
 breaking apart
 feeling nothing
 as the moon lights the frozen lake? 

sizing up all this misery
 i don't know how i got here
 hardly moving through the being of this world 

are the fish still biting...
 in the loneliness of this unsavory landscape? 

across the street i laugh at the untutored shouts
 of night's uncertainty...
 it's all so altogether painful 

i expose everything
 tricked by the bitterness of change in the unproductive rain
 
i'm drifting through things of the past
 complete with prophetic discontent
 
i tell you... the nonchalance of it all is disgusting
 the difficulty of pretending about my place in this world
 setting everything in motion as the night passes
 i face stale foolishness
 
love is just so much unplanned profanity...
 the misbegotten affairs- the liars, the cheaters
 what uncolorful experiences
 
i move through life's hurt
 as a grenadiers song is playing
 and all those sterile people I choose to leave alone
 
now, at this time in the night...
 the night the moon refused to shine
 i'm in seclusion dropping out
 in the yellow of the cold december moonlite
 wanting to leave behind
 the hurt -the damage
 lost in grief
 one last time
 with no feelings left to share
 __________________________________________
 by anne p murray

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012



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Date: 11/9/2012 11:09:00 AM
I am not a pro on any form of poetry but...I know when I read a poem if I have enjoyed it. Now I have read yours and I have indeed enjoyed it Anne. I wish you a wonderful weekend and hope you find much inspiration to continue with your writing endeavors. Love, Carol
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Anne P. Murray
Date: 11/9/2012 2:38:00 PM
Wow... thank you Carol for reading this rather dreary 'long' poem. I didn't really write this about myself, as so often I write in generalities. However, I have had days when I feel like this. Have a great weekend Luv' N' Hugs...Anne
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