The New Commandments

And God’s Arch Angel Diametes looked at the world, And trumpeted from on high. There shall be Three more commandments. And so as it is said so shall it be. I say unto thee: Thou shalt not eat Sugar or covet they neighbours chocolate biscuits. And it came to pass that this commandment was law. There was lightening and sounds of thunder. The Arch Angel spoke from on high once more. I say unto thee: Thou shalt not partake of Alcohol. And it came to pass that the commandment was given. And there was a hush over the world. For men were saddened by this commandment. The Sun went dark and the Arch Angel Diametes spoke again from on high. Thou shalt not eat fried food especially French fries. And so it was ordained and so it shall be. For those who seek the Good life shall follow these new commandments. And God was pleased with what was done.