The Moocher

The Moocher By Elton Camp Most families have one or two “Loans” from you they pursue And never fail to assuredly say “I will pay it back, right away.” So worthy I am of your complete trust Never would I stoop to treat you unjust You wouldn’t expect me to ask another You will be glad help your own brother I’d do it for you if you were in a tight So all your debts would come out right Of my kin, you are the one I like best Since you’re much nicer than the rest My calls they won’t answer if they see That it is my name on their caller ID They never invite me on a visit to come Why, they act like I’m a worthless scum And you must not have any fear About what I borrowed last year That loan I sure still intend to pay Maybe I’ll get around to it any day My own credit rating is now all gone Due to that old cheating payday loan It’s clear to me they are out of line To file a lawsuit cause I’m behind Though it is a car that can’t be beat, It’s hard, Cadillac payments to meet But you wouldn’t want me to keep A vehicle that is common and cheap From my friends I’d sure get a snub Without membership in country club To play golf is the game I love best It keeps my girlfriend so impressed I know you want me to keep feeling fine With bottles of whiskey, beer and wine And would sure be a shameful disgrace Unless I eat only in the very finest place I have found there’s nothing that appeals In, at home, cooking my very own meals And you know just how I feel by gosh, I never have much liked dishes to wash Hospital insurance is available at work For anyone to pay it, he has to be a jerk Especially with a good brother like you Who’ll pay my bills when they are due Please, with your wife, now be a honey And quickly send me the needed money You can expect to hear from me again Next time that I am in need of a friend