The Moocher

The Moocher

By Elton Camp

Most families have one or two
“Loans” from you they pursue
And never fail to assuredly say
“I will pay it back, right away.”

So worthy I am of your complete trust
Never would I stoop to treat you unjust
You wouldn’t expect me to ask another
You will be glad help your own brother

I’d do it for you if you were in a tight
So all your debts would come out right
Of my kin, you are the one I like best
Since you’re much nicer than the rest

My calls they won’t answer if they see
That it is my name on their caller ID
They never invite me on a visit to come
Why, they act like I’m a worthless scum

And you must not have any fear
About what I borrowed last year
That loan I sure still intend to pay
Maybe I’ll get around to it any day

My own credit rating is now all gone
Due to that old cheating payday loan
It’s clear to me they are out of line
To file a lawsuit cause I’m behind

Though it is a car that can’t be beat,
It’s hard, Cadillac payments to meet
But you wouldn’t want me to keep
A vehicle that is common and cheap

From my friends I’d sure get a snub
Without membership in country club
To play golf is the game I love best
It keeps my girlfriend so impressed

I know you want me to keep feeling fine
With bottles of whiskey, beer and wine
And would sure be a shameful disgrace
Unless I eat only in the very finest place

I have found there’s nothing that appeals
In, at home, cooking my very own meals
And you know just how I feel by gosh,
I never have much liked dishes to wash

Hospital insurance is available at work
For anyone to pay it, he has to be a jerk
Especially with a good brother like you
Who’ll pay my bills when they are due

Please, with your wife, now be a honey
And quickly send me the needed money
You can expect to hear from me again
Next time that I am in need of a friend

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